Holy Cow! I'm here.

Just recovered from jet lag. I have to write a letter to Delta. Their international flights stink. The girls and I felt like cattle. The worst part was no free booze! I almost fell over when the stewardess said that. My children must have sensed my distress because they were amazingly well behaved the whole trip. We landed in Chennai at 12:45 am and immediately slept for the next two days. Chennai is off the coast of India. Think Florida at it's hottest and add 20 degrees. My posts are going to be short and sweet since I will be traveling. My next trip is to the forest in the foothills of Mysore. We are going to try and see some real wildlife. Elephants, bears, bison and if we are very lucky a tiger. Just say a little prayer that they don't decide that I look like good eats.

T-minus 5 hrs 30 min.

Till I voluntarily place myself on a plane with the my two kids. It is going to be 20 hrs and 5 min till we reach our destination of Chennai(madras), India. We stop in NYC for 5 hrs and detox, then stop in Paris for what Snark says is a potty break. He told the eldest to make sure and go the bathroom there so she can say she "peed in Paris." I will be updating this blog wherever I can find wi-fi. Wish me luck...

The Pyrite Retriever!

I am ashamed at times. I own a Golden Retriever that is a disgrace to the breed. Now, we're not talking about some golden haired mutt I plucked out of someone's backyard. We're talking lots of research and meeting with a few breeders before we settled on one we liked.

Her dad was the face of Pro Plan and her mother a show dog. Sophie is beautiful, a true gold and medium build. Her behavior is not that of the breed. People snicker when they realize what a weenie she is.

Contrary to popular belief Golden's are not hulking mounds of slobber. They are supposed to be between 55-65 lbs and light to medium gold not red or orange. We leave the darker shades to the Irish Setters of the world. Well, since I have now revealed that I am Golden snob, you will understand why she shames me.

1. She hates the water. This dog was bred to be a water dog. My dog quivers with fear when she sees any body of water larger than a water bowl. She cries and barks her fool head off. Unfortunately for me she thinks anyone who jumps in the pool needs to be yelled at and saved. So in an effort to stop them from going in she bites their bums just hard enough to annoy them.

2. She feels guilty with anything in her mouth. She hasn't learned the rule of "If you have illegal food or a stuffed animal, run away." She finds us and wags her hinder around then drops the item in front of us while looking sorrowfully at it.

3. She is 4 years old going on 6 months. My other Goldens were calm by this age. This one is Peter Pan. She refuses to mature. She treats everyone like a long lost relative and firmly inserts nose in their crotches for emphasis.

4. She is scared of everything. A bird flew out of a tree she was laying under, causing her to yelp and come running towards me for safety. Lizards scare her. She seeks them out then runs when they face her.

She's going to be drummed out of the Golden Retriever union if that happens again.

Things I am trying to do.......maybe

Find luggage for my India trip. I finally found some on Ebags. Won't come in till the 9th, I leave the 12th. Nothing like last minute packing to get your blood boiling.

Figure out how many pieces of clothing to bring for the girls and myself. This requires endless loads of laundry and actually cleaning out the closets. I just can't make myself do it.

When is my friend Megan's daughter arriving? This could be accomplished by picking up the phone and checking the due date and then sending gift before I leave. All this requires more organization than I can handle right now.

Very envious of pretty blogs. I am trying to get some free skins and will not rest till I figure this out. Did I mention I leave for India in 10 days? Yet, this is high priority.

I have not bought anything to occupy the girls on the flight. Why? when they have deemed me the entertainment who gets the honor of sitting between them. 33 hrs of avoiding fists and hearing the word "butthead". Did I mention on international flights they have free alcohol?

Trying to relax and achieve the Zen state by slogging through Elizabeth Peters "Amelia Peabody" series. Just can't seem to get into it. Switched to Dorothea Benton Frank and so far she's been a snooze but my friend Amy says it gets better.

Whoever said summer was relaxing!

Blackened Fish

We just got back from the Keys, where all we ate was blackened fish. Snark came home and got to work on a blackening seasoning and is proceeding to blacken every meat product in the house. The key is a very hot pan (preferably cast iron) Whatever you use don't use non-stick. It ain't a myth that non-stick at high temp is toxic. Just watch the "Mythbusters" episode of Good Eats. Brush the fish with butter/oil and put oil/butter in the pan to melt. Then sprinkle this generously on the fish and flip. Season the other side flip again and let cook for about 3 min depending on your fish fillet thickeness.

• 2 teaspoons ground paprika
• 4 teaspoons dried leaf thyme
• 2 teaspoons onion powder
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
• 2 teaspoons salt
• 2 teaspoons black pepper
• 1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper, or to your taste
• 1 teaspoon dried leaf oregano
• 3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Put in jar and shake well. This should make about 1/2 cup. Feel free to adjust the seasoning to your taste. Snark put in chili flakes for an extra kick.