Sunday, January 15, 2006

The Snarkinator

I live with a super hero. I did not realize it till last night. He is Clark Kent. Mild mannered, meek and wears glasses. I was so impressed by his powers that I just have to mention them.

We had a few friends over last night for dinner. Our dinners usually consist of six kids running around screaming. I am yelling for everyone to avoid the oven door. Snark is passing out numbing medication(alcoholic refreshment) and my friends are doing a bizarre version of Riverdance, avoiding kids, the oven door and reaching for food while fending off The Incredible Crotch Nudging Hound.

During all this Snark turns on the timer for the microwave. I pass by after a few minutes and notice the microwave is on and heating something. WELL, the heated item was my food cover that was a bubbling melted mess in the microwave. I turn to Snark and hiss

"You turned the micro on instead of the timer."

Okay, here is where his superpowers kicked in. In a flash his deflector shield was up and what came bouncing back at me was his laser retort.

"Well, you have left the oven on several times and I didn't get that mad."

"You could have caused a fire." my teeth were clenched at this point.


"I guess I could just mention that you left a candle burning while we went to Disney."

Damn that deflector shield. If only he would use his power for good.

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