Strollercize

To all you stroller mamas with your oversized treads and one track mind(gotta get to the ride), to all the older generation that comes to Disney and complains about the kids there, to all the new parents that are under the delusion that their six month old kid actually appreciates being at a noisy theme park this vitriolic letter is directed at you.

Don't come and nip and yap at my heels in your attempt to be two minutes ahead of me in a ride. I met you on Saturday when you were pushing your babies into the back of my legs, causing me to trip into my kids who actually know where they are. Do you really think your kids care about Thunder Mtn? All they care about is the bottle in your hand and the fact they are enjoying the breeze as you push your way over unsuspecting polite people. Lets be real. Babies don't care about Disney. You do. And by the way this goes out to the women who push their 10 yr old in the stroller also. Make them get up and walk. Rule of thumb: If they eat more than you and have a drivers license they don't need the strolller.

I love the older people and the childless that bitch about all the children. HELLO! This isn't Club Med(actually they are allowing kids also.) Look around you. There are snot nosed kids everywhere. Go somewhere else if you are going to complain about it. And don't tell my kid to look happy after you push her out of the way while she's waiting to enter the main gate.

Ahhh! I haven't vented in so long this feels good. It sucks to be polite all the time.

Adult Milk

Snark was going through his suit pockets the other day and found a Commanders Palace card with the manager's name on it. On the flip side was a recipe for Brandy Milk Punch. For my 21st birthday Snark took me to Commanders Palace. They have a conservatory there which is beautiful on a summer night. You have to walk through the kitchen to get there. It was a very memorable meal because the food was fantastic, the place is legendary, the service was impeccable and Snark remembered that I had always wanted to eat there. The waiters made sure we were well taken care of and recommended this delicious drink. We have eaten many times since and I always order this drink.

Brandy Milk Punch

In a shaker combine

shot cream de cocoa
1/2 shot brandy
1/2 and 1/2 about 1/4 cup
dash vanilla extract

shake it up and pour into highball glass filled with ice.

Vampires Bane

Garlic and Citrus Chicken


1 (5 to 6-pound) whole roasting chicken, neck and giblets discarded
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 orange, quartered
1 lemon, quartered
1 head garlic, halved crosswise, plus 3 garlic cloves, chopped
2 (14-ounce) cans reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano leaves
Kitchen string or butcher twinePosition the rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 400 degrees F.

Pat the chicken dry and sprinkle the cavity with salt and pepper. Stuff the cavity with the orange, lemon, and garlic halves. Tie the chicken legs together with kitchen string to help hold its shape. Sprinkle the chicken with salt and pepper.

Place a rack in a large roasting pan. Place the chicken, breast side up, on the rack in the pan. Roast the chicken for 1 hour, basting occasionally and adding some chicken broth to the pan, if necessary, to prevent the pan drippings from burning. Whisk the orange juice, lemon juice, oil, oregano, and chopped garlic in a medium bowl to blend. Brush some of the juice mixture over the chicken, after it has baked 1 hour. Continue roasting the chicken until an instant-read meat thermometer inserted into the innermost part of the thigh registers 170 degrees F, basting occasionally with the juice mixture and adding broth to the pan, about 45 minutes longer. Transfer the chicken to a platter. Tent with foil while making the sauce (do not clean the pan).

Place the same roasting pan over medium-low heat. Whisk in any remaining broth and simmer until the sauce is reduced to 1 cup, stirring often, about 3 minutes. Strain into a 2-cup glass measuring cup and discard the solids. Spoon the fat from the top of the sauce. Serve the chicken with the pan sauce.

recipe courtesy of Foodtv.com

Happy New Year

I have made it through another year. I learned a few things along the way.

I could travel 27 hours on a plane with my kids without going insane

My mother is once again a married woman. A little sad. I was used to having her all to myself.

Never tell Snark about the various stages of girl puberty. It's the closest I've ever seen him come to vomiting.

Never volunteer for the PTA. There is always someone more psycho than you in it.

People who say they don't have an opinion are in denial

Insurance companies don't care that you were a day early on your cleaning. You must pay it all because you disobeyed the rules!!

My girls are hysterically funny. They get that from me.

There are still bitchy professors that are out to get you thirteen years later.

Twilight sleep is not an option for me. I actually have to usher my daughters through puberty.

There are people who have no shame. Case in point. I have had two people, who I barely speak with, ask me to babysit their children and house sit. The only time they call is when they need something. Shame on them for asking. Double shame on me for consenting.

No matter what my worries are, the fact that I have Snark and friends like Amy, Traci and Lisa make anything that I am upset about a little less worrisome.

Hopefully this new year brings a lot more revelations.