Thin is not in...

Plump is beautiful. I am going to riff on a line from an Indian movie. It goes something like this.

"In India, you can be fair and rich, or fair and poor. Acceptable is dark and rich, but on no account can you be dark and poor. That combination will not catch you a man."

The ideal Indian woman is fair, wealthy, plump and hairless (like one of those nasty bald dogs that look like Chihuahuas.). The only hair on their body should be their luxurious mane of hair.

Now I made the conscientious effort two years ago to lose weight. I did it because I felt uncomfortable in my skin. And I knew I didn't feel good being the weight I was. So a lot of people in India have not seen me since my weight loss.

A few comments:

"When did your health problems start?" this is said with the meaning of "Just tell us when you are going to die, so we can make it to the funeral."

"Are you eating in America?" meaning "Did your husband lose his job and can't afford to feed you?"

Then since I live in a sunny state I, obviously, am darker.

"Listen, you need to take this color off. It's not good for you." This from the spa lady giving me a facial. She then proceeded to insta-glow my face. She swore it wasn't bleach but I think it was. She didn't get a tip after she stuck some ultrasound wand on my face and proceeded to ignite my metal fillings. This caused me to jump off the table and swear horribly in Tamil.

"What happened to your color? You were so lovely with your skin tone. It's a good thing you did this after you married." an elderly aunt's comments.

"Your youngest is dark. It's a good thing she is a smart girl." another well-meaning relative.

Then came the hair thing.

"Are you sure you don't want to wax your insert body part? This is posed as a question as they approach you with hot wax, ready to strip every visible and invisible hair from your body. I succumbed to various parts but got my revenge by yelling "ow." This scared quite a few girls in the waiting room.

"You mean to tell me that women in the States have hair there?" the girls that were spaing me clinging onto to my lies as I gleefully told them that we only go hairless here come springtime. Kind of like waking up from hibernation.

Anyway, the girls at Annie's Nails in Bangalore now cling on to the hope that you can be a thin, hairy, dark Indian woman and still catch a man. And thanks to them I am thin, semi-hairy and only fairly dark. ...