Definition of Ma'am--@#$%

Being raised primarily in the South, I was taught that anyone old enough to be your mom was addressed with a Ms. or Mr. preceding their name or if they were hanging out at your house all the time Aunt or Uncle. It was all about courtesy. To this day I address my parent's friends the same way and anyone I meet that is older than me. I feel very uncomfortable with saying an older person's name without the courtesy title.

I have noticed since I've moved around that you can tell a Southerner by the way they automatically add Ma'am or Sir. You can tell the other's by the violent reaction to being Ma'amed. Especially with women. It is as if you called them the other four letter word.

Apparently, ma'am denotes decrepitness. That was never the case when I or the rest of the South said it. It was said out of respect for your elders. I read somewhere where a fifteen year old bagger called a 34 year old woman Ma'am and she was mortally offended. Well guess what, you are older honey. Face it. Quite frankly, Ma'am is preferable to "Yo bitch." Because you are more likely to be called that.

A friend came over and when my eldest added the Ms. to her name she cringed and then said.

"No you call me M."

My daughter raised an eyebrow.

"Actually, she will add the Ms. I don't allow my children to call adults by their first name." I replied.

"Well that makes me feel old."

I shrugged. What I wanted to say was "You are 40, she is 8. She is not an adult and she will not be allowed to treat you as an equal because she is not."

Snark and I do not allow our friends kids to call us by our first names. I think there needs to be a line drawn regarding overfamiliarity with your elders. If you are taught not to have a certain amount of courtesy or manners from young, you won't have it as an adult. It boils down to the fact that all people are not created equal, especially children and adults. I have lived longer than you and know a bit more. You can say "ma'am or Ms". I earned it.