I...AM...A...FABULOUS...SPECTATOR!

I AM A FABULOUS SWIMMER/BIKER/RUNNER! --words to chant as you compete in the Danskin Women's Sprint Triathalon...--Sally Edwards(Ironman Triathlete)


3:15 am Mother's Day--In a show of support I am up and ready to get my friend Amy. She is participating in her first triathalon. It was the Danskin mini-tri at Magic Kingdom. She gets to swim the Seven Seas lagoon, bike around the Kingdom, then run through the Magic Kingdom.

I am unofficial coach/photographer. Just looking at these women compete makes me tired. I get revenge at the ungodliness of the hour by slurping my coffee in front of Amy,since she can't have any till after the race, this kills her.

Now she is the type of athlete that I aspire to be. She is a fit woman. She is not those muscle bound mamas you see that are lean and scary looking. The best part is she doesn't throw it in your face that she could bench press you.

5 am-- Very dark out. It's a little strange getting off the ferry at the Magic Kingdom and hearing absolutely nothing. Amy goes to set up her transition area and I stake a chair out at the finish line. I whip out the camera and take pictures. I need blackmail photos of her in these triathalon shorts that I have dubbed "Diaper Pants." I told her that I needed to take a picture of the back because you can see the padding better. She refuses because she knows I'll post it to the blog.

6:45--She is off. I say a prayer that the alligator snapping turtle I saw lounging on the shoreline is not around. But this being the Mouse Kingdom, where all things are perfect, I'm sure he wouldn't bite.

6:50-8:45 I run around taking pictures. I stupidly thought I would be lounging in my chair reading. Instead, there is no time because these chicks finish too fast. Her husband and kids join the cheering section. Amy finishes really well and I think that she is hooked on this.

We head to the Polynesian for a character breakfast. Snark and the kids join us. The breakfast was good. Mickey, in his luau shirt, is surly. My youngest touched his hand and the mouse brushed her away. Me thinks Mickey might need a new job. As we left, a group of ladies told Mickey how much better this would be without kids and the damn mouse gave them a thumbs-up. Hello, where are you?? This isn't Vegas, baby!

I was too tired to make a snarky comment. I went home and pulled the covers back over my head and took a nap.