Lavacakes

Chowing down

2007-04-06T06:56:00.000-04:00

I wanted to wish everyone a Happy Easter! The family is off to New Orleans for a week. It will be the first time I am back in the city since before Katrina. I am a little apprehensive about seeing it. Of course I went online and made sure I had a list of eateries. In no particular order they are:

Cuvee-never been so this should be great!

Restaurant August- Never been but I like what I see whenever John Besh is on the Food Network. Am very excited about this one

Palace Cafe- Going for setimental value. Had my bridesmaid luncheon here, first place my kids raved over because they were treated like gold. And if you go before 7pm you get three courses for the price of your entree. Sweet deal!

Harbour- Best eggplant pirogue, fresh oysters and $1.00 Abita Amber on draft. Can you get any better?

Have a happy Easter and may you eat as well as I am going to.

Lemon Butter Tilapia

2007-03-09T07:21:00.000-05:00

My neighborhood Publix has started cooking and handing out recipe cards. This was easy to make and I added 6 oz of mascarpone to the pasta after draining. Gotta fatten it up a bit.

Ingredients
4 teaspoons flour, divided
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
large zip-top bag
5–6 sprigs fresh Italian parsley
juice of 1 lemon
1 1/2 pounds tilapia fillets
3 tablespoons butter, divided
1/4 cup white wine

Steps

1. Place 3 teaspoons flour and seasoned salt in zip-top bag; shake to mix and set aside. Chop (rinsed) parsley coarsely, leaves only, and measure (2 tablespoons). Slice (rinsed) lemon in half. Set both aside.
2. Preheat large sautй pan on medium-high 2–3 minutes. Check fish for bones by pressing on fillet with finger tips and remove. Add fish to zip-top bag; seal tightly and shake to coat. Wash hands.
3. Place 1 tablespoon butter in pan and swirl to coat. Add fish (wash hands) and cook 3 minutes. Add 1 tablespoon butter to center of pan. Turn fillets, using spatula, distributing butter under each fillet. Cook 3 more minutes until fish is golden and flakes easily. Place fish on serving plates.
4. Place remaining 1 tablespoon butter and 1 teaspoon flour, wine and juice from lemon in sautй pan. Heat 1–2 minutes until thickened, stirring occasionally. Stir parsley into butter sauce and serve over fish.

CALORIES (per 1/4 recipe) 249kcal; FAT 10g; CHOL 108mg; SODIUM 509mg; CARB 3g; FIBER <1g;>

Angel Hair Fresca

Ingredients
8 ounces angel hair pasta (1/2 box)
2 cups fresh broccoli florets
1 tablespoon butter
1/2 cup sun-dried tomato pesto

Steps

1. Fill large saucepan 1/2 full of water. Cover and bring to a boil on high heat for pasta.
2. Stir pasta into boiling water and boil 1 minute. Stir in broccoli and boil 4 minutes, stirring occasionally.
3. Drain. Add butter to saucepan, using residual heat to melt butter. Stir in tomato pesto and pasta mixture; toss to mix and serve.

CALORIES (per 1/4 recipe) 303kcal; FAT 6g; CHOL 8mg; SODIUM 384mg; CARB 48g; FIBER 2g; PROTEIN 9g; VIT A 15%; VIT C 56%; CALC 2%; IRON 15%

Wastin Away

2007-02-26T06:48:00.000-05:00

Note: I did not put that hose in the manatee's mouth. I was just passing by. So don't fine me if you are FL law enforcement.

This picture was how my Keys vacation ended. I guess manatees love fresh water so they come scurrying over(as fast as a manatee can scurry. Note the propeller wound on head) if there is a hose in the water. So this guy was about 8 ft and had some of his flipper missing. He bellied up for about an hour before leaving the bar.

That was the last day of a four day excursion. The whole family went with my cousins and their wives.

I am close with my male cousins. I am the oldest girl so they had to hang with me. The rest of the girls that came along after were much younger and way more boring.

Anyway, we rented a house in Marathon and drove around the Keys like maniacs. It was cold. Need I say more.

To demonstrate how sick I am, the only place I wanted to go was a restaurant called Alice's that served a tropical fruit shortcake with passion fruit cream. That was really the whole vacation for me. That and the joy of arguing with my cousins.

Snark, while driving, hit a seagull at night. It landed in front of the car and looked at the headlights. The incident permanantly scarred my cousin's wife Jean. She is a fanatical animal lover. She said she would always be haunted by look on the stupid bird's face. I am going to be haunted by the fact the seagull could have dented my new car and the fact if Snark had swerved we'd be in the drink. I don't think I won any points with Jean after that comment.

She also says I have the malocchio. I guess it means I have some curse on my head. This revelation came about because I can't see wild-life to save my life. I go on an airboat tour in the Everglades and guess what? I see only one baby gator. I go to see Key deer and I am the only person that did not see one. I go to see snakes and can't spot them. I didn't even see the seagull that was in front of me. So being the superstitious Italian chick Jean is, she decides I am cursed. Isn't there some kind of spitting thing that gets rid of that?

Anyway, my cursed head is glad to be home. As much as I like vacation I love home.

Superbowl Wings

2007-02-09T06:15:00.001-05:00

2-1/2 to 3 lb. chicken wings (about 12 whole wings)
1/2 cup hoisin sauce
3 Tbs. toasted sesame oil
2 Tbs. rice wine vinegar
2 Tbs. soy sauce
1 Tbs. grated fresh ginger
1-1/2 tsp. Tabasco or other hot sauce
2 cloves garlic, minced and smashed into a paste using the side of a chef’s knife
1/2 tsp. ground cloves
1 Tbs. sesame seeds, preferably toasted

how to make

Heat a gas grill to medium high or prepare a medium-hot charcoal fire. With a chef’s knife, cut off the wing tips; discard or save for stock. Separate the remaining wing pieces by cutting through the joint. Transfer to a large bowl.

In a small bowl, combine the hoisin sauce, sesame oil, vinegar, soy sauce, ginger, Tabasco, garlic, and cloves. Whisk to combine and spoon out 2 Tbs. to set aside. Pour the remaining sauce over the chicken wings and toss to coat.

Grill the wings, basting for the first 15 minutes with any sauce left in the bowl and turning with tongs every 5 minutes or so to prevent burning. (If the wings start to burn, turn the heat down to medium or move them to a cooler part of the grill.) Continue to grill until all the wings are very dark, slightly crisp, and cooked through, 20 to 25 minutes total. Transfer the wings to a clean bowl, drizzle on the reserved sauce, sprinkle on the sesame seeds, toss to coat, and serve immediately with plenty of napkins.

from Fine Cooking #59, pp. 82C

Strollercize

2007-01-25T05:54:00.000-05:00

To all you stroller mamas with your oversized treads and one track mind(gotta get to the ride), to all the older generation that comes to Disney and complains about the kids there, to all the new parents that are under the delusion that their six month old kid actually appreciates being at a noisy theme park this vitriolic letter is directed at you.

Don't come and nip and yap at my heels in your attempt to be two minutes ahead of me in a ride. I met you on Saturday when you were pushing your babies into the back of my legs, causing me to trip into my kids who actually know where they are. Do you really think your kids care about Thunder Mtn? All they care about is the bottle in your hand and the fact they are enjoying the breeze as you push your way over unsuspecting polite people. Lets be real. Babies don't care about Disney. You do. And by the way this goes out to the women who push their 10 yr old in the stroller also. Make them get up and walk. Rule of thumb: If they eat more than you and have a drivers license they don't need the strolller.

I love the older people and the childless that bitch about all the children. HELLO! This isn't Club Med(actually they are allowing kids also.) Look around you. There are snot nosed kids everywhere. Go somewhere else if you are going to complain about it. And don't tell my kid to look happy after you push her out of the way while she's waiting to enter the main gate.

Ahhh! I haven't vented in so long this feels good. It sucks to be polite all the time.

Adult Milk

2007-01-19T07:51:00.000-05:00

Snark was going through his suit pockets the other day and found a Commanders Palace card with the manager's name on it. On the flip side was a recipe for Brandy Milk Punch. For my 21st birthday Snark took me to Commanders Palace. They have a conservatory there which is beautiful on a summer night. You have to walk through the kitchen to get there. It was a very memorable meal because the food was fantastic, the place is legendary, the service was impeccable and Snark remembered that I had always wanted to eat there. The waiters made sure we were well taken care of and recommended this delicious drink. We have eaten many times since and I always order this drink.

Brandy Milk Punch

In a shaker combine

shot cream de cocoa
1/2 shot brandy
1/2 and 1/2 about 1/4 cup
dash vanilla extract

shake it up and pour into highball glass filled with ice.

Vampires Bane

2007-01-12T06:41:00.000-05:00

Garlic and Citrus Chicken

1 (5 to 6-pound) whole roasting chicken, neck and giblets discarded
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
1 orange, quartered
1 lemon, quartered
1 head garlic, halved crosswise, plus 3 garlic cloves, chopped
2 (14-ounce) cans reduced-sodium chicken broth
1/4 cup frozen orange juice concentrate, thawed
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon chopped fresh oregano leaves
Kitchen string or butcher twinePosition the rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 400 degrees F.

Pat the chicken dry and sprinkle the cavity with salt and pepper. Stuff the cavity with the orange, lemon, and garlic halves. Tie the chicken legs together with kitchen string to help hold its shape. Sprinkle the chicken with salt and pepper.

Place a rack in a large roasting pan. Place the chicken, breast side up, on the rack in the pan. Roast the chicken for 1 hour, basting occasionally and adding some chicken broth to the pan, if necessary, to prevent the pan drippings from burning. Whisk the orange juice, lemon juice, oil, oregano, and chopped garlic in a medium bowl to blend. Brush some of the juice mixture over the chicken, after it has baked 1 hour. Continue roasting the chicken until an instant-read meat thermometer inserted into the innermost part of the thigh registers 170 degrees F, basting occasionally with the juice mixture and adding broth to the pan, about 45 minutes longer. Transfer the chicken to a platter. Tent with foil while making the sauce (do not clean the pan).

Place the same roasting pan over medium-low heat. Whisk in any remaining broth and simmer until the sauce is reduced to 1 cup, stirring often, about 3 minutes. Strain into a 2-cup glass measuring cup and discard the solids. Spoon the fat from the top of the sauce. Serve the chicken with the pan sauce.

recipe courtesy of Foodtv.com

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T17:24:00.000-05:00

I have made it through another year. I learned a few things along the way.

I could travel 27 hours on a plane with my kids without going insane

My mother is once again a married woman. A little sad. I was used to having her all to myself.

Never tell Snark about the various stages of girl puberty. It's the closest I've ever seen him come to vomiting.

Never volunteer for the PTA. There is always someone more psycho than you in it.

People who say they don't have an opinion are in denial

Insurance companies don't care that you were a day early on your cleaning. You must pay it all because you disobeyed the rules!!

My girls are hysterically funny. They get that from me.

There are still bitchy professors that are out to get you thirteen years later.

Twilight sleep is not an option for me. I actually have to usher my daughters through puberty.

There are people who have no shame. Case in point. I have had two people, who I barely speak with, ask me to babysit their children and house sit. The only time they call is when they need something. Shame on them for asking. Double shame on me for consenting.

No matter what my worries are, the fact that I have Snark and friends like Amy, Traci and Lisa make anything that I am upset about a little less worrisome.

Hopefully this new year brings a lot more revelations.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2006-12-25T11:14:00.000-05:00

We were jolted awake at 2am by a screaming 8 yr old. She was so excited that Santa had arrived. She woke her older sister who pulled the covers over her head and told her to go to bed. But insanity prevailed and we rolled out of bed and opened the gifts. The most played with in my house are Magnetix and 20 Q. We then went back to sleep.

Pork Chops with beer, cabbage and apples

2006-12-22T07:53:00.000-05:00

Made this the other day. Very easy and very tasty. I rounded it our with dinner rolls.

4 center-cut pork chops, about 1-1/2 inches thick
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
3 Tbs. vegetable oil
1 small red onion, thinly sliced
1 Tbs. Dijon-style mustard
1/2 head Savoy cabbage (about 1 lb.), cored and thinly sliced
2 tart apples, peeled, cored, and cut into 1/2-inch slices
(see "How to core an apple")
1 cup beer or ale
2 sprigs fresh thyme or 1/2 tsp. dried
1/2 cup homemade or low-salt canned chicken stock

how to make

Season the chops on both sides with salt and pepper.

Heat the oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat until hot. Add the chops and cook on one side until well browned; turn and brown other side. Transfer to a plate and set aside.

Put the onion in the pan and cook, stirring, until softened, about 5 min. Stir in the mustard and 1/2 tsp. pepper. Add the cabbage and apples, season lightly with more salt, and cook, stirring, for another minute. Add the beer, thyme, and stock. Bring to a boil and cook for about 5 min. to intensify the flavors.

Return the chops to the skillet, burying them in the cabbage mixture. Cover the pan and simmer until the pork is just cooked through, about 15 min. Season to taste. Arrange the chops on plates and top with the cabbage.

from Fine Cooking #25, pp. 90

How was the Processional?

2006-12-22T07:38:00.000-05:00

Glad you asked. Well my camera pooped out on me when I tried to take a picture of the kids in their cute outfits at Epcot. After dinner at Restuarant Marrakesh, which was pretty good, we had time to kill till 8:15 which was our processional time. The only thing I have a gripe about is our waiter Youssef, kept reminding us that 18% gratuity was standard and he did us the favor of not including it on the bill. Well, we did him a favor by leaving him a tip after his service. After all, tis the season.

As we are walking around, and mind you this is at 7pm, the adults in the family hit a new low. I look at Snark and yawn which he then imitates. "I feel like going home." I just put it out there. He looks guilty and chides me. The girls hear me and Isabelle says "I guess I can go home and watch tv." Anni says "NO WAY! I want to see the processional."

Being the horrible person I am I say "Aren't you tired? You did get up at 530 today."

"I am a little." she admits.

"Wowee, let's get home and go to bed." I start off toward the exit.

"You are bad. We paid for this." Snark got a conscience, which stemmed from the fact he realized he just put out some cash for this occasion.

"Yeah and....." I am still running for the exit. Unfortunately, Disney's Beatles tribute band was playing in England. So the melody of "Twist and Shout" pulled me over (I am a Beatles junkie). We stayed for the set and finally left.

How was the Processional? The choir sounded great as we dashed past them.

Get this

2006-12-20T19:50:00.000-05:00

Costco, if you are lucky enough to be near one, and get Costco's 10 year old Tawny Port!! Yum. Tastes of dried fruit and caramel. I'm slightly addicted to it and at 16 bucks a bottle it's a steal.

Rionda Prosecco- tastes of flowers and spring at a nice price of 8.99 a bottle. I order it by the case every May.

Goose Island Demolition. Small batch beer that Goose Island Brewery, out of Chi-town, makes. Makes a beer hater turn to beer.

Toot! Toot!

2006-12-20T18:20:00.000-05:00

I'm going to give Snark some props here. He is going for his MBA and finally took his GMAT today after toiling over prep-books and the like. What a pain in the ass that has been. So today he got a 730 on it. How good is a 730 you ask? Well the average MBA grad from Yale gets in with a 703

Wharton-713
Harvard-708

Well you get the picture. I am very proud of him and hopefully one of the above three come knocking with a scholarship and a job that enables me to buy a Tods purse at will.

Ham, Bean and Escarole Soup

2006-12-15T06:20:00.000-05:00

Olive oil--2-3 TB
Ham-1/2 lb, thick sliced and cut into cubes
Onion-1 chopped fine
Garlic- 4 cloves minced
Chicken broth 7 cups
Escarole or another other green 1 head or 1 pkg spinach
2 cans white beans rinsed and drained( I use 1 1/2 cans)
rosemary fresh 2 TB minced
Red pepper flakes 1/4 tsp
parmesan 1/2 cup

In lg saucepan heat 2 TB oil saute ham till golden add onions and saute till soft then add garlic and saute for 30 sec. Set aside.

Bring 7 cups broth to a simmer and throw in greens and beans with rosemary and pepper flakes. When greens are wilted add the ham mixture and simmer about 10 minutes. Ladle into bowls and sprinkle on Parmesan.

Kitty Crack and other Christmas Musings...

2006-12-13T18:39:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry I put Christmas. Actually, I'm not! I respect other religions but this is Christmas for me so I say "Merry Christmas" unless you're the one Jewish friend I have, and really the woman puts up a Christmas tree in addition to celebrating Hanukkah so I don't think she sweats it too much if I slip up and say "Merry Christmas."

The picture to the side here is my cat and her cocaine. The tree!! Never mind that it is fake. She nestles in it and when I stuck it up her big hiney was stuck underneath it. I tried to stop her but she's fourteen and it's one of the few pleasures she has left.

I was stuck on the Turnpike Saturday. There was an accident that caused mental distress for me since Snark and the kids were in the car. We all waited for it to clear. We stayed in the car because we're on the highway duh!! Stupid me, it was a cause for a party. Just imagine a bunch of morbid people getting out and staring at the accident(dead person) discussing what happened.

"Oh look, they're carting the body away."

"Where? Where?"

"Was he old?"

"Does someone have matches, I need a smoke."

Yes, there was a party and yours truly stuck her head out the window and asked if they were enjoying the view of the blood. Snark yanked me back in and told me if I got lynched he'd wait at least a year to get married again. I snapped a picture of the on-lookers but Sprint wanted to charge me five bucks to e-mail it so just picture it in your heads.

Speaking of Sprint, I cashed in on my 7+ years of customer loyalty and got them to give me two brand spankin new Treo 700p's for 50 a phone. Snark is singing his love for me. This is the geek phone and he's all about it. I like it but really, do I need organization in my life? I do use the internet on it. It's so great my friend Amy asked me to get a phone number so I looked it up on the internet and by the time I got the number she called 1800-Free-411 and got it. So I think it's wasted on me.

I was hand-slapped today by the above friend for neglecting this blog. She said "You didn't even post a recipe." I know, but might I add this is the same chick that said she "has never made any of the recipes."

Christmas is here because

Neiman Marcus has their purses on sale.
Starbucks has put Peppermint Mocha on the menu
Bath and Body is selling spice candles
Snowman Shop at school was a hit with the kids and wore me out
I'm running around the house keeping the kids away from the closets
75 degrees is sweater weather down here.
"A Christmas Story" is on
Snark is playing "Charlie Brown Christmas" in the car
My favorite Christmas song "Merry Christmas Darling" sung by Karen Carpenter is on
Jingle Bell Bark is on
Salvation Army is ringing bells(but not outside Target!)
The candlelight processional at Epcot is going on and I will have picture from that. Hopefully, someone as hot as Jim Caveziel is there this year.

Dijon Chicken with Double Cheese Bake

2006-11-30T22:14:00.000-05:00

I bought a Land O Lakes cookbook about 13 years ago. I thought this cooking thing would be a passing phase. I still use it and it has some of the best recipes I have made. This was one I used to make for brunch. I hope everyone appreciates the fact that I am typing the recipe out.

6 cups cubed French bread
2 cups shredded cooked chicken
2 cups sliced mushrooms
1 1/2 cups shredded Cheddar
1 1/2 cups shredded Mozzarella
10 eggs(Yow!)
1 1/3 cups milk
1/3 cup dry white wine or chicken broth
1/2 cup chopped green onions
1/4 cup Dijon mustard
1/4 tsp pepper

Grease a 13x9 pan and place bread inside. Layer with chicken, mushrooms, and cheeses. In a large bowl whisk together remaining ingredients. Pour over layered chicken mixture. Cover and refrigerate 6 hrs or overnight. Pre-heat oven to 325. Uncover and bake for 50-60 minutes or until set in the center. Let stand 10 minutes.

Bread Part Deux

2006-11-27T07:14:00.000-05:00

This is how the bread turned out.

Dawn of the Bread

2006-11-16T21:01:00.000-05:00

As always, I am the last one to catch a trend. Remember the whole poncho thing. Well, when it comes to food I try to stay current. There is a column in the NY Times called the "The Minimalist." by Mark Bittman. He writes about easy ways to create great dishes. Now remember, easy doesn't equal fast.

This past week he wrote about a bread you make in bowl that you DO NOT knead! Isn't kneading the hassle. I think so. This weekend Snark and I are setting out to make the recipe. I am amazed at how many posts there are about this bread and it has been positive. So being the geek I am I am going to take digital pictures and post it. But if the bread turns out bad I'm posting someone else's pictures :)

3 cups all-purpose or bread flour, more for dusting
1/4 teaspoon instant yeast
1 1/4 teaspoons salt
Cornmeal or wheat bran as needed.

1. In a large bowl combine flour, yeast and salt. Add 1 5/8 cups water, and stir until blended; dough will be shaggy and sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let dough rest at least 12 hours, preferably about 18, at warm room temperature, about 70 degrees.

2. Dough is ready when its surface is dotted with bubbles. Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it; sprinkle it with a little more flour and fold it over on itself once or twice. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest about 15 minutes.

3. Using just enough flour to keep dough from sticking to work surface or to your fingers, gently and quickly shape dough into a ball. Generously coat a cotton towel (not terry cloth) with flour, wheat bran or cornmeal; put dough seam side down on towel and dust with more flour, bran or cornmeal. Cover with another cotton towel and let rise for about 2 hours. When it is ready, dough will be more than double in size and will not readily spring back when poked with a finger.

4. At least a half-hour before dough is ready, heat oven to 450 degrees. Put a 6- to 8-quart heavy covered pot (cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic) in oven as it heats. When dough is ready, carefully remove pot from oven. Slide your hand under towel and turn dough over into pot, seam side up; it may look like a mess, but that is O.K. Shake pan once or twice if dough is unevenly distributed; it will straighten out as it bakes. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 15 to 30 minutes, until loaf is beautifully browned. Cool on a rack.

Yield: One 1 1/2-pound loaf.

Happy Birthday, Cupcake

2006-11-10T07:34:00.001-05:00

Today my youngest is 8. She has always marched to her own drummer including choosing when she was going to arrive (3 days late!). We had to drag her out of her temporary housing to meet the world. This kid impressed us immensely with her excellent timing. When we took the diaper off, she would shoot poop out 2 feet (I know, I took it upon myself to measure it one day.) Her sense of wackiness was just blossoming. Up till the age of 3, she thought it was hilarious to scream in a quiet room and then laugh at everyones' startled looks. She has yet to get a filter between her brain and her mouth. "Mom, can all ladies grow mustaches?"

The woman Anni was talking about was standing 5 feet in front of us in the store. The woman looked up. I said, "Anni, let's go!" Anni replied, "Yeah, but she must want one, she grew it."

In honor of Anni's birthday, Snark and the girls baked up some peanut butter cupcakes for the occasion. No, Snark didn't frost each one with a mustache. ... Like Anni, they're a load of fun, and sure to inspire guilt!

Chocolate peanut-butter cupcakes (from Epicurious)

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons double acting baking powder
1/2 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
1/4 cup chunky peanut butter
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
1 large egg
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup milk
1 1/4 cups semisweet chocolate chips
1/4 cup heavy cream

In a bowl whisk together the flour, the baking powder, and a pinch of salt. In another bowl with an electric mixer cream together the brown sugar, the peanut butter, and the butter and beat in the egg and the vanilla. Beat in the flour mixture alternately with the milk, beating well after each addition, and stir in 1/2 cup of the chocolate chips. Divide the batter among 12 paper-lined 1/2-cup muffin tins and bake the cupcakes in the middle of a preheated 350°F. oven for 20 to 25 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean. Turn the cupcakes out onto a rack and let them cool completely. In another bowl combine the remaining 3/4 cup chocolate chips and the cream, scalded, let the chips soften, and whisk the mixture until it is smooth. Let the icing cool completely, whisk it until it is fluffy, and spread it on the cupcakes.

Makes 12 cupcakes.

Baked Shrimp

2006-11-03T06:44:00.000-05:00

4 scallions
2 garlic cloves
1 1/2 pounds large (21-25 count) shrimp
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
One 28-ounce can chopped tomatoes in juice
1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese
2 tablespoons chopped fresh dill or oregano

PREP Chop white and green parts of scallions. Finely chop garlic. Peel and devein shrimp.

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Heat olive oil in a large ovenproof skillet over medium heat. Add scallions and garlic and cook, stirring often, until scallions wilt, about 2 minutes. Add tomatoes and their juice and bring to a boil. Cook until tomato juices thicken, about 5 minutes. Season with freshly ground pepper to taste.

2. Remove from heat and stir in shrimp. Sprinkle with feta cheese.

3. Bake until cheese melts and shrimp are firm and opaque, about 10 minutes. Sprinkle with dill and serve hot.

Receipe courtesy of epicurious.com

It's getting to be sweet potato time!

2006-10-20T06:09:00.000-04:00

BAKED SWEET POTATOES WITH SCALLIONS AND CILANTRO

4 small slender sweet potatoes (2 lb total)
3 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened
2 scallions, finely chopped
2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh cilantro
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Prick potatoes several times with a fork and put directly on oven rack in middle position. Put a sheet of foil on lower rack (to catch any drips) and heat oven to 450°F. Bake potatoes until soft when squeezed, 30 to 35 minutes.

Mash together butter, scallions, cilantro, salt, and pepper. Slit potatoes lengthwise and put some butter mixture in center of each.

Makes 4 servings.

Gourmet
Quick Kitchen
November 2004

Epicurious.com

Happy First Year!

2006-10-16T06:56:00.000-04:00

Today marks exactly one year since I started this blog. I don't think I've committed to writing anything that long. I now look at the world through a "I wonder if I can post about this" mindset. More often than not I do post about it. So to start off the new blog year I have to talk about the Southern Women's Show. I attended with my friend Amy and her mother-in-law B.(Who is the best sport I know).

The show was at the convention center and was comprised of booths that were advertising anything from alcohol to candy thongs(yes edible thongs). I only wanted pens. There were several booths holding raffles for free vacations. While B was talking to the Ron Jon resort rep, Amy and looked over at the next booth. The booth title was "Enjoy Florida Naturally". "Ooh," I thought, a conservation booth. I then looked closer and the sub head was "Nude Recreation." And let me tell you they did not send their finest to advertise the joys of being nude. If I wanted people to sign up I would have sent a Playboy and Playgirl playmate as bait.

My friend who loves to get one over on her MIL told me that she was going to send the MIL over with the ploy that they had a week free if you signed up. We were positive the MIL would notice the tasteful pictures of nude tennis players and scream, thus providing us with hours of glee in the re-telling.

We sent her over and I scurried away because I was laughing so hard. Amy watched from a Bahamas vacation booth and gave me running commentary which started with "She's talking, oh,oh she's filling out paperwork, oh no she's signing up." I needed a Depends at that moment.

The MIL walked away and came over

"Amy how could you send me there?"

"What's the matter?" Amy feigned ignorance.

"That man had horrible breath. I couldn't stand it."

I stared at her "Didn't you see the nude pictures?"

"No, there were no nude pictures."

Amy: "Barb, didn't you see the asses on the board. We sent you to a nudist resort. Didn't you read nude recreation?"

That's when she shrieked. "Oh my God! I filled out the giveaway."

Amy's answer "Pack light."

That made my day. It hit the MIL later on that the guy may have been trying to look down her blouse. Fresh meat!

Italian Wedding Soup

2006-10-13T06:24:00.000-04:00

I made this and the kids love the meatballs. Other than the meatballs, everything else is pretty easy to throw in. It is a good kid recipe. There is something about flinging meatballs in a pot that makes my kids want to eat this soup.

Meatballs:
1 small onion, grated
1/3 cup chopped fresh Italian parsley
1 large egg
1 teaspoon minced garlic
1 teaspoon salt
1 slice fresh white bread, crust trimmed, bread torn into small pieces
1/2 cup grated Parmesan
8 ounces ground beef
8 ounces ground pork
Freshly ground black pepper

Soup:
12 cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 pound curly endive, coarsely chopped (1 pound of escarole would be a good substitution)
2 large eggs
2 tablespoon freshly grated Parmesan, plus extra for garnish
Salt and freshly ground black pepper

To make the meatballs: Stir the first 6 ingredients in a large bowl to blend. Stir in the cheese, beef and pork. Using 1 1/2 teaspoons for each, shape the meat mixture into 1-inch-diameter meatballs. Place on a baking sheet.

To make the soup: Bring the broth to a boil in a large pot over medium-high heat. Add the meatballs and curly endive and simmer until the meatballs are cooked through and the curly endive is tender, about 8 minutes. Whisk the eggs and cheese in a medium bowl to blend. Stir the soup in a circular motion. Gradually drizzle the egg mixture into the moving broth, stirring gently with a fork to form thin stands of egg, about 1 minute. Season the soup to taste with salt and pepper.

Ladle the soup into bowls and serve. Finish soup with parmesan cheese if desired.

Recipe courtesy of Foodtv

The Affair...

2006-10-11T07:20:00.000-04:00

I had a friend who had an affair. Notice how I said had? I would have understood if her marriage was unhappy and hey, I would have understood if it was a one time thing. But when she told me about it she added the fatal words that ended our friendship "I will do it again." So in spite of her being as close to me as a sister, I ended it.

I did it because I knew that there was nothing wrong with her marriage, just her lack of self esteem at the time. I did it because in a world filled with selfish people I knew her husband was not one of them. He was good and kind and decent not to mention drop dead gorgeous. He adored her. I knew she did it because she was feeling unattractive and when you have a twenty-two year boy saying he found you attractive either you sink with him or you swim away.

But this post is not about right or wrong. I was thinking the other day why I wouldn't have an affair. At some point in your life you think about your attractiveness to the opposite sex. And if you don't, you are lying to yourself. I have had a couple of opportunities to turn a light flirtation into something more. I never have and won't.

Why?Because I am one lazy gal. Snark and I have been together for 13 years. I know at this point in my marriage if I don't feel like shaving my armpits one day Snark is not going to comment or really care. The same goes for legs, oh ,and the waxing thing.

I look at myself in the mirror. I see saggy boobs, stretch marks and cellulite. And he is the only man who knows that the boobs and stretch marks are badges of honor.

I've been with him long enough that I can say "you know..." and be distracted by something else and won't complete the rest of my sentence. Yet, he knows that I really want that last Godiva bar in the freezer (which is precisely what happened last night). And you know what, he got up and got it. Of course he ate half which peeved me, but I didn't say he was perfect.

I also know that love is not the only thing that holds you together. If people expect love to be the be all end all then they are probably headed for an affair.

Faux-Shepherds Pie

2006-09-29T07:41:00.000-04:00

In honor of Snark's 40th birthday this weekend I am posting his favorite dish. He likes it with ground beef instead of lamb. I serve this with buttered toast. I also use a stove to oven skillet to lessen the amt of pots used.

1 1/2 lbs ground sirloin
1 packet onion gravy mix
1 med onion chopped
1/2 pkg frozen peas and carrots

Topping
4 lg potatoes
1/2 stick butter
milk to thin out potatoes
1 egg beaten
1 cup cheddar cheese
salt and pepper to taste

Peel and cube potatoes. Boil till tender. Meanwhile, brown beef till no longer pink and drain. Add chopped onion and beef to pan and cook till onion is soft. Add gravy packet and water. Cook till gravy thickens. turn off heat and mix in carrots and peas. Pre-heat oven to 350.

Drain potatoes and add back to pot. Turn on low heat and evaporate any water on potatoes. Mix in butter, milk and egg. Mash till smooth and dollop onto beef mixture. Smooth out and sprinkle with cheddar. Bake in oven till bubbling, about 30 min.

ISN’T THIS A HELLUVA THING?!

2006-09-28T22:28:00.001-04:00

The Lavalovely was recently asking me to post, saying it’s been months. She isn’t lying, and so last Sunday, I finished writing my NFL column and put a post together. It was very downcast and pessimistic. Sorry, it’s just my current state of mind. When the Mrs. saw it, she told me that it didn’t pass muster, and she wasn’t going to put it on the Blog.

No worries, I figured, things will change, and I’ll be inspired to write something that works in the next few days. Unfortunately, I’m not exactly happy about the inspiration for this post.

I went into the newsroom the next morning and was exchanging hellos with Anne, the woman who shares my “pod.” I was just mentioning what we did over the weekend, what I ate (food’s usually the most important part of any discussion I have), and then I dialed in my e-mail.

The first message was spam.

The second was from the theater critic: “Lisa (our business editor) called me last night and said Susan (our star business reporter) suffered a heart attack around 10 p.m. last night.”

I paused as my mind drank this in.

Susan’s husband, Ken, and I have only known each other for about 16 months (how long I’ve been in Florida, working at the paper), but we’ve grown relatively close. We would always talk sports at the office. Ken retired at the end of last year (at the young age of 56), but he and I kept in touch. He took me to Vero Beach to catch a Dodgers game during spring training (this is a big deal if you’re a baseball fan—Vero is mecca during March).

A couple of months later, the Lavalovely and the crumb crunchers were in India, and I was Mr. Lonely Guy. Ken and Susan had me over for dinner, stuffing me with steak and regaling me with funny stories at their beautiful home. I remember giving Susan a hearty hug, grabbing a biography of Lou Gehrig that Ken had loaned me, and walking off to my car to drive home fat and happy.

I kept saying I’d bring the Gehrig book to work to hand to Susan so she could give it to Ken. I did so a few weeks ago, figuring I didn’t need to track her down because I always bump into her at the microwaves as I did last month.

Susan hadn’t met my wife, and I sat there, heating up an Amy’s vegetarian entrée, telling Susan that the four of us had to get together and go out for dinner and drinks. Susan said, “You know Ken and I would love that!” She was always smiling, and her eyes were so bright. You talked to her for 10 minutes, and you felt you’d been friends with her for years. The only reason I knew who she was was because she introduced herself at these very same microwaves the previous August. Ken had told her about me, and she just called me over as I walked by, saying, “We’ll have to have you over for dinner sometime!”

Now anyone who knows my wife knows that she is from the school of “I believe it when I see it.” She’s used to hearing me talk about a coworker threatening to invite us over, then it never happening. Ken and Susan are definitely not in the idle-threat camp.

Hey, every week’s like the last one, right? I’ll see Susan any time, and I can give her the Gehrig book, right?

The reverie ended, the Gehrig book was sitting on my desk, and I was staring at its title: “Luckiest Man.”

I read the next sentence of the e-mail.

“Susan’s at the hospital right now and isn’t expected to make it. Ken, and Susan’s best friends are at her side.”

I reread the words “ISN’T EXPECTED TO MAKE IT.”

“My God,” I uttered.

“I was wondering when you were going to read that,” Anne said. A simple question: Why didn’t Anne tell me about Susan’s heart attack before I read it online? That question is still bouncing around in my head.

Four hours later, at 2 p.m., our executive editor called our staff together and told us that Susan was dead. Ken and Susan’s four best friends decided to pull the plugs on four machines that were keeping her alive. She was gone moments later.

I figured Susan was around my age (40), but I later found out she was 47. Her husband is similarly deceptive. He could pass for late 40s, 10 years younger than he actually is. Both were trim, athletic, and Susan was a workout fiend. Apparently, however, she had a slightly weaker heart than that of a typical woman her age. And last Sunday night, she called Ken for help from across the house, and Ken had no idea that Susan’s heart was going to fatally betray her without leaving a mark on her exterior.

After work, I went to Ken’s house. My heart was in my mouth, I was terrified of going, but there was a crowd of about 40 others there. People who have known Ken for decades (the paper I work at is very insular—people come here and retire here).

I gave him a hug, and he hugged back with one arm and said, “Glad to see you, David. Isn’t this a helluva thing?!”

Ken acted as if nothing was wrong, and he was as charming, assured and full of grace as ever.

“Ken, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say,” I said, and I stepped into the background. He chatted up everyone there, and several times told the gruesome details of finding his wife basically dead in their office.
Ken and Susan are quite a bit older than the Lavalovely and myself, but they only had each other for seven years. The Mrs. and I have been together for 13 years. That made me feel sadder, because that pair were obviously made for each other in clichéd and noncliché ways. I didn’t tear up, but felt like it as I got ready to leave.

“Give your wife an extra hug,” Ken said as I headed out. “All spouses get extra hugs today!”

The Mrs. has gotten probably five or six extra hugs since Monday. Every day is a gift. A gift, I say. It’s something I don’t want to forget. Last Sunday, Ken was a happily married man. Tomorrow I’m attending the funeral for his wife.

Banana Fritters

2006-09-22T06:52:00.000-04:00

I probably shouldn't post this because I don't have exact quantities. This recipe has been in my family for generations and all the women just make it to taste.

3 Bananas mashed

2 eggs, beaten

sugar(to taste)

pinch salt

1 tsp baking soda

3/4 c. flour

squeeze lemon

vegetable oil/butter for frying

mix all ingredients together. Heat oil /butter till shimmering but not smoking. Drop by Tablespoonfulls and fry. Will resemble mini-pancakes.

Shelling around

2006-09-18T06:55:00.000-04:00

We went away for a long weekend to the Marco Island Marriott and Spa. It was very nice. Only problem was my second day there I was doing the stingray shuffle on the sandbar and razored the bottom of my foot on a shell. I have a nice four inch gash and it needs stitches but I'm not going. I slapped some Neosporin on it and a Band-aid. A Marriott staff member told me I was lucky because he has seen shells do more damage than sting ray spikes. Anyway, this cured me of stepping into the ocean for a time. I sat back and anesthetized myself with a Pina Colada.

Mario's Carbonara

2006-09-15T06:47:00.000-04:00

I could eat this dish all the time. It is simple and decadent. I don't agree with Batali's politics but this is one great dish! Be sure to read HEAT by Bill Buford. He delves into the personality of Mario Batali. You either hate or like him but you cannot deny he can cook.

2		tablespoons coarse salt

1/2		medium onion, finely chopped

4		ounces guanciale, pancetta, or American bacon, cut into 1/4-inch cubes

1		pound very thick spaghetti

1/2		cup freshly grated Pecorino cheese

4		large eggs, separated

4		tablespoons freshly ground pepper

		1. Bring 6 quarts of water to a boil; add salt. Meanwhile, in a 12-inch sauté pan, cook onion and guanciale over medium heat until both are translucent, 8 to 10 minutes.

		2. Add spaghetti to the boiling water, and cook according to package instructions, until tender but al dente. Drain. Add the hot pasta to the sauté pan, and toss over medium heat until coated. Add 1/4 cup cheese, and stir. Remove from the heat, and vigorously stir in egg whites.

		3. Divide the pasta among four plates, and top each serving with one yolk.

		4. Sprinkle with the remaining 1/4 cup grated cheese and the pepper. Serve immediately.


Courtesy of Martha Stewart Living.

Five Years

2006-09-11T06:44:00.000-04:00

Five years is a long time. This is what has happened from Sept 11, 2001 to Sept 11, 2006. My family has moved in and out of two states, lost my father-in-law, been laid off from two jobs and on our fourth dog. That is just the tip of the iceberg.

Five years ago, we were living in St. Louis, MO. My mother had flown in the night before from New York City. She had planned on staying an extra night but decided against it. One kid was home, the other in pre-school. I was getting ready to go to work and Snark was washing the cars.

I was in the shower and Snark ran in and said "A plane just hit the towers." I hopped out and went to the tv. My mother was facing me and I said "Are they replaying it?" just as Dan Rather's shocked voice mentioned that was a second plane heading toward the other tower. It was not a replay.

Our first thought was my younger brother who lived in the City. I had spoken with him the night before and he had mentioned he was headed for a meeting at Morgan Stanley. I called his cell but the lines were busy and then when it rang would only say "There has been a tornado in the area. Please try again." He called later that day from a phone to say he was fine. He overslept and was late for the meeting. A friend of his wasn't so lucky.

I don't think you realize the magnitude of an event until time has passed. I hate it when people try to minimalize events in history. I thank God that my brother overslept and my mother didn't feel like staying the extra day to sightsee.

Tada a recipe finally!

2006-09-07T16:49:00.000-04:00

Courtesy of Rick Bayless, who owns Frontera Grill in Chicago. Serve with warm flour tortillas and sliced avocado.

Red Chili Steak with Beans - serves four

Ingredients:
2 tablespoons olive oil, vegetable oil or bacon-drippings (divided use)
Two 10-ounce rib-eye, New York (strip loin) or tenderloin steaks ( 1 1/4 pounds total), trimmed of excess fat and cut into 1-inch cubes
Salt
1 medium white onion, sliced 1/4 inch thick
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
2 garlic cloves, peeled and finely chopped or crushed through a garlic press
2 tablespoons ground ancho chile powder
1 1/2 teaspoons chipolte chile powder (or ancho powder)
1 1/2 cups beef broth, plus a little more if necessary
One 15-ounce can diced tomatoes in juice (preferably fire-roasted)
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano (preferably Mexican)
1/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon sugar (if necessary)
One 15-ounce can pinto-or practically any beans, drained OR 1 3/4 cups home cooked pintobeans, drained

Preparation:

Heat 1 tablespoon of the oil or bacon drippings in a very large (12-inch) skillet over medium-high. Sprinkle the meat all over with salt. When the oil is very hot, add the meat in an uncrowded single layer and cook, stirring and turning regularly, until browned but still rare inside, 3 to 4 minutes. With a slotted spoon, scoop the meat onto a plate, leaving behind as much oil as possible. Add the onion to the skillet and cook, stirring regulaly, until richly golden but still crunchy, 4 to 5 minutes. Scoop into the plate with the meat.
Reduce the heat under the skillet to medium. Add the remaining 1 tablespoon oil or drippings, along with the flour, garlic and two chile powders. Cook for 1 minute, stirring constantly to prevent burning. Add the broth and whisk until a smooth, thick sauce is formed.
Add the tomatoes, with their juice, the oregano and cumin. Bring to a boil, then reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer gently for 10 minutes. Taste and season with salt, usually about 1 teaspoon. Add the sugar if the sauce has a bitter edge. Thin with a little more broth if the sauce has thickened beyond the consistency of a light cream soup.
Add the meat and onions to the pan, along with the beans. Simmer for a couple of minutes, until everything is heated through and the meat is as done as you like. The dish is ready.

Uh.......

2006-09-05T22:13:00.000-04:00

We are trying to teach the girls not to say certain things like "I'm going to kill myself" or "I want to blow my head off." The latter is the favorite of a friend. It is her personal greeting. And she uses it quite often like when she has a hangnail or her kids are screaming in her ear. I feel they shouldn't take sentences like that lightly or say it in jest. Gives me the heebie jeebies.

We are sitting there and my eldest says "I could've killed myself." That is the cool thing to say in 4th grade.

Snark decides to turn this into a lesson in religion. "God decides when you die, so don't say that."

My youngest pipes up "So God decides to make a car run over you."

Let's see Snark try and get out of this one.

2006-09-05T15:39:00.001-04:00

This Steve Irwin death really saddens me. I just remember being pregnant and watching him on Discovery then Animal Planet. I really looked forward to his Discovery specials in the early 90's. I also think I am sad because he was 44 and had two small kids. Snark said it's a sign we're getting older. More people we know are dying. Morbid!

2006-08-29T06:52:00.000-04:00

Well...I forgot to post a recipe on Friday. Guess why? I was doing homework. It started and I had a paper to write. I forgot what it is to take a class and actually want to do well with it. My friends think I am nuts. Everytime I say I have homework, one says "You have fun with that. Thank God I'm not doing it." If I had a couple bucks for everytime someone said I wouldn't be taking the damn class.

So this weekend I went to a 40th birthday party. I had a blast in spite of an ill-mannered guest who drank the host's beer and ate their food then whispered to me that "This isn't a Tommy Bahama kind of crowd." I wanted to slap her but I had beer in my hand. I settled for telling her how rude she was. I wanted to tell her north of the Mason Dixon line they think Tommy Bahama is a beer.

I had two papers due and a quiz to take this week. The great thing about an online class is you can take the quiz in your pajamas drinking a beer. Which is precisely what happened. This mortified Snark until he saw what yours truly made on the quiz. That's right 100%. Thank-you Dogfish Head Brewing Co. I just hope my instructor, whom I have dubbed Dr. Puff N Stuff, isn't reading this.

The kids have started out on a swim team. They swim three days a week. It's not serving the purpose I intended, which was to tire them out. Instead they are juiced up after an hour of swimming laps in the pool. I'm the one that's tired.

One of my favorite artists, Nina Gordon, has released another album after six years. You can listen to her here . I'm hoping she tours.

Ernesto came in like a lion and has petered out in my backyard. Just non-stop raining. A little more than a drizzle which is just fine with me. People actually kept their kids out of school today even though they knew it was supposed to be a rainstorm. Bad mom! I kicked mine out the door. No hurricane means school. They learn too little anyway.

It doesn't feel like Labor Day is around the corner. Yet it is. Nothing is planned at all. Might take the kiddies to Disney. But I have homework and they have swim practice. So we will laboring on that day.

I'm Wineing Away!

2006-08-22T17:43:00.000-04:00

I am a festerer. I realize that is not a word, but I choose to make it one to suit my purposes. My current fester is the temperature that people serve red wine and white wine at. We live in Florida, where the average house temp is 80 degrees. Combine the words "room temperature" with clueless red-wine newbies, and we get warm swill. It pains me to go over to someone's house and have to drink wine at coffee temps. We're not talking mulled wine. The insult in this is I read most Americans drink their wine either too warm or too cold. The winos of the world single us out and make us look stupid. I like to think we are literal--how are we supposed to know that "room temp" means "drafty old chateau"?

I have read over the years that you take white wine out 20 minutes before and put the red wine in. Room temperature for red should be between 55-65 degrees. Anything over 70 means the wine is cooked, and you should just reach for the Mogen David at that point.

The other fester I have about wine is disdain regarding the screw-cap and box. We are talking about something the Austrailian's have done for years. And for those of you that don't know Oz makes damn fine wine. One snotty look at a screw-cap or box from a newbie, and I see red or white (depends on the wine). I want to yell "if you are going to talk, back it up."

As for wine glasses. I have issues. They are nice for drinking expensive wine. For everyday, tumblers are the way to go. Who are we trying to impress? I have a friend who pours it into a plastic tumbler. I laugh, but he has the right idea. We're not drinking premium here (we're not drinking Boone's Farm either).

So make me proud! Drink red at the right temp, and don't be afraid to pour it into a juice glass. What would make me really happy is if you went out and tried some of the wines below:

Black Box Chardonnay---fruit,fruit, fruit. ...
Bonnie Doon---any wine all screw-cap. Delicious!
Hardy's Shiraz box---spicy and lasts forever.
Three Thieves jug of zinfadel---Cute little 1-liter jug. Drink for only a couple of days. What do you want for 10 bucks?
Porto/Bonny Doon ---Rose(Row-zay) (I will clock the next person on the head if I have to hear "Is that white zin?" Did I say white zin?)perfect for that tumbler with Marcona almonds.
Yalumba Viognier.
Jezebel White.

Back to school

2006-08-22T08:27:00.000-04:00

The girls started school a week ago. It starts earlier every year. They are not thrilled and quite frankly niether am I. The school they go to believes strongly in mental telepathy. They don't require note-taking or explanations. I think they really believe that you can learn by osmosis.

I also start school on Thursday. I have an online class I am taking and an evening class. The evening class ends at 9:30 which is past my bedtime. I will need a caffeine jolt before I go to class.
In typical fashion, I have a paper to write as an intro to my Lit class and I am waiting till today to do it because I have read most of the books. I could have done it weeks ago but why bother. Nothing like the last second to get the juices flowing and the stress level up.

I am a little prejudiced against my instructor(whom I have never met). She requires that an intro about myself be saved on a 3 1/2 disk. Really, does she know that most computers now do not have 3 1/2 inch drives. She must be 114 yrs old or has never seen a computer from the last 3 years. Can you tell I'm going to endear myself to her.

Happy Birthday Mom!

Adult Rice Krispie Treats

2006-08-18T14:09:00.000-04:00

If you haven't seen Ham on the Street on Food Network, you are missing out. George Duran has great recipes. His comedic, often painful to watch, style really makes the show! Snark made these for work and could only take 1/2 the pan. The other half I hid.

3 tablespoons unsalted butter, plus more for greasing pan and hands
1 (10-ounce) package mini marshmallows
2 to 3 tablespoons instant coffee or espresso
6 cups rice cereal (recommended: Rice Krispies)
Lightly butter an 8-inch square pan.

In a large pot, melt the butter over very low heat. Stir in the marshmallows, getting them all coated with the butter. Slowly melt the marshmallows, stirring frequently. When the marshmallows are melted and smooth, remove the pan from the heat. Stir in the instant coffee (2 tablespoons for a rich coffee flavor, 3 tablespoons for a real kick) and mix until it is dissolved into the melted marshmallow. Gently fold in the rice cereal. When it is completely coated, lightly press the mixture into the prepared pan with your buttered hands. When cool, cut the treats into bars and serve.

Pseudo-Blogging

2006-08-13T12:01:00.000-04:00

I was writing a post today and got blogger's block. It's a malady where you have an anecdote but you can't blog about it since too many people know who you are. I'm finding it hinders a blog. Snark posed the question "Are you writing for your friends or are you writing for yourself?" He has been reading my blogs and said that I am typing through rose stained fingers. He's started calling it the pseudo-blog. I'm a little offended but only because he is telling the truth. Really, what is the point of a blog if I can't write about anything that amuses or frustrates me?

Tequila-Lime Chicken

2006-08-11T06:55:00.000-04:00

I made this yesterday. I used boneless, skinless breasts. I think that I should have used the bone -in breasts or legs. The marinade is delicious. I also used 1/4 cup of tequila. Why does a chicken need to be drunk?

1/2 cup gold tequila
1 cup freshly squeezed lime juice (5 to 6 limes)
1/2 cup freshly squeezed orange juice (2 oranges)
1 tablespoon chili powder
1 tablespoon minced fresh jalapeno pepper (1 pepper seeded)
1 tablespoon minced fresh garlic (3 cloves)
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
3 whole (6 split) boneless chicken breasts, skin on

Combine the tequila, lime juice, orange juice, chili powder, jalapeno pepper, garlic, salt, and pepper in a large bowl. Add the chicken breasts. Refrigerate overnight.

Heat a grill with coals and brush the rack with oil to prevent the chicken from sticking. Remove the chicken breasts from the marinade, sprinkle well with salt and pepper, and grill them skin-side down for about 5 minutes, until nicely browned. Turn the chicken and cook for another 10 minutes, until just cooked through. Remove from the grill to a plate. Cover tightly and allow to rest for 5 minutes. Serve hot or at room temperature.

Recipe courtesy of Foodtv.com

Roasted Pork

2006-08-04T08:07:00.000-04:00

I made this recipe on Sunday. Before I put in on the table it was half gone from everyone picking the crispy bits off. You must use the cut of pork they tell you to.

1 6 lb boneless pork shoulder roast(Boston butt)
3 garlic cloves minced
2 tsp pepper
1 1/2 tsp salt
1 TB chopped fresh rosemary
1 TB chopped fresh sage
1 TB fennel seeds roughly chopped
2 red onions, cut into wedges
1 TB vegetable oil
1 cup apple cider
1/2 cup apple jelly
2 TB cider vinegar

Adjust oven rack to lower middle position. Pre-heat oven to 300 degrees. Combine garlic,pepper,salt, herbs and fennel seeds in bowl. Rub pork with herb mixture. Transfer to roasting pan and cook for 3 hours. After 3 hours scatter onion wedges around tossing with pork drippings. If pork has not produced any juice toss onions with oil first. Continue roasting for another 3 1/2 to 4 hours. Check to see if pork has any juices during that time, if not add 2 cups water and stir browned bits in water. Allow pork to rest and make gravy from the drippings by adding enough water to measure 1 1/2 cups. Add drippings and onion to a saucepan and add cider, jelly and vinegar. Simmer till dark and thickened. Ideally you should have the pork the next day, but really who is going wait when it smells so good.

recipe courtesy of Cooks Country.

The A, B, C's...

2006-08-03T21:19:00.000-04:00

I received some very depressing news yesterday. I went to get a bra from Victoria's Secret.

Actually, before I tell the sad tale, I have to tell you that I have an obssession with my boobs. They hardly qualify as "breasts" anymore. I had a great chest when I was younger. It was the envy of many a woman. Then I had kids. One kid nursed so much she depleted all the filling out of my left breast. I became lopsided. But I still had a big enough chest. Even though I stood leaning to one side to compensate for my "hanger." Then, the youngest delivered the death blow. After she was done nursing in between bites, they shriveled ( they were scared they were going to be gnawed off). Yet I was still a C.

So I lost weight and went to B. I was very happy at B. My friend Amy was very happy about that, too: She was the recepient of all my great Victoria's Secret C bras.

Well yesterday I went to get a bra at Vickies, and guess what? The bra I tried on gapped . I gasped. Then I sucked it up and asked the lady to fit me. She pursed her lips and did her job then said those fatal words.

"You are an A cup, this is too big for you honey." I almost swooned. Then she had the nerve to say "All us small-breasted woman go for this bra."

"Speak for yourself sister, In my mind I will always be a C." I huffed before grabbing a push-up bra she handed me.

The Ugly Truth

2006-07-31T20:24:00.000-04:00

I read this article today. This mother wrote on how bored she is being a mother. I laughed out loud because she is getting blasted by people for telling a basic truth. Anything done for a long time tends to bore us. Whether it be motherhood, marriage, your job. We wouldn't have articles on how to spice up our lives or magazines dedicated to "1000 different ways to entertain your child."

She does mention that she has a nanny. That probably was the bit that set mommies around the world off. That and the fact that she exposed a side of motherhood that none of us want to talk about. If we did, that would expose us as being "BAD" mothers.

Taking the kids to school everyday is not a fun thing to do. A typical car scenario with my children involves yelling, threats and ends with me cranking up the James Blunt while they fight in the back. I wouldn't consider that exciting.

Doing laundry does not excite me, cleaning their rooms is not a joy, and making sure that they wash their hands every time they exit the bathroom is something I would rather not do. So I deal with these boring mundane things and live for the moments when someone says I have polite kids or they stick up for one another. I have to admit those moments are pretty awesome.

The Digital Hunter Part Deux or the Resort Quest.

2006-07-28T07:00:00.000-04:00

I left off where the big grey elephant bum came into view. After a moment of awestruck silence, a little red car drove up and all the clowns piled out and started screaming about the elephant. We drove off then, seeing as we had no desire to be charged at.

My aunt had made a reservation at a place called Monarch. She heard all the rooms were machans (treehouses). This thrilled the girls (and me) to bits, because in spite of elephant-proof fences, they still came in. We drove through the village of Masanagudi. It's one street and that's it, folks.

We drove down very curvy lanes 'til we found the resort. We had to wake the manager from his afternoon nap. That should have been the clue that all was not well. After being greeted by the three mastiffs that guarded the grounds, the youngest and I came close to being gored by a wayward cow. When the cows wander onto a resort's property, the dogs are trained to chase them off. We did not know this and were happily getting out of the Jeep only to be greeted by a steer running toward us. That was the fastest I moved in a while.

We then went to our machans. My aunt summed up the false advertising by jumping from the steps onto the ground which was a foot below. Some treehouse. "Okay, we can live with that," was the general consensus. I then went to the bathroom to freshen up. I saw the cutest frog doorstop in the bathroom...until it took a leap towards me. I ran out and checked the other machans. They all had similar welcoming gifts in the bathrooms. This is the jungle after all.

We were starving and ordered lunch. Lunch did not arrive for an hour. We grabbed the fries when they came. The kitchen thoughtfully put pepper on the fries. We thought it was pepper until we saw the size and squishiness of one of the peppercorns. That ain't no pepper. Now our nerves were beginning to be a little shot. Dusk was falling. My mother suggested we call the Jeep back. We agreed we could use a drive around. I went to my room to pull back the covers when lo and behold there was lizard poo on the pillowcases. Now I will forgive the runaway cow, the bumpy Jeep and even the protein in my fries, but I refuse to sleep on lizard crap.

We packed post-haste and called a place my aunt had been to before. ...

This is my kind of pasta.

2006-07-28T06:57:00.000-04:00

Chocolate Hazelnut Ravioli

16 wonton wrappers
1 egg, beaten to blend
1 cup chocolate-hazelnut spread (recommended: Nutella)
Vegetable oil, for frying
16 fresh mint leaves
Nonstick vegetable oil spray
Granulated sugar, for dredging
Powdered sugar, for dusting
Line a baking sheet with plastic wrap. Place 1 wonton wrapper on the work surface. Brush the edges of the wrapper lightly with egg. Spoon 1 tablespoon of chocolate-hazelnut spread into the center of the wrapper. Fold the wrapper diagonally in half over the filling and press the edges of the wrapper to seal. Place the ravioli on the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining wonton wrappers, egg, and chocolate-hazelnut spread.

Preheat the oven to 200 degrees F. Add enough oil to a heavy large frying pan to reach a depth of 2 inches. Heat the oil over medium heat to 350 degrees F.

Working in batches, carefully add the ravioli to the hot oil and cook until they are golden brown, about 45 seconds per side. Using a slotted spoon, transfer the ravioli to a plate lined with paper towels to drain. Then, transfer the cooked ravioli to another baking sheet and keep them warm in the oven while frying the remaining ravioli. (The fried ravioli can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cool them completely, then cover and refrigerate. Before serving, place them on a baking sheet and rewarm in a preheated 375 degrees F oven just until they are heated through, about 7 minutes.)

Spray the top side of the mint leaves very lightly with nonstick spray. Working with 1 leaf at a time, dredge the coated side of the leaves in sugar to coat lightly.

Arrange 2 fried ravioli on each plate. Dust the ravioli with powdered sugar. Garnish with the sugared mint leaves and serve.

Recipe courtesy of Foodtv.com

What I feel like today

2006-07-26T09:22:00.000-04:00

The Digital Hunter

2006-07-26T07:44:00.000-04:00

Part of the India itinerary was going to the forest. I wanted the kids to see the jungle and maybe catch sight of wildlife. I remember, as a child, being taken to Bandipur National Park. I only have two memories of the many experiences. One, a family of wild boar trotting to the watering hole drinking alongside the resort's resident elephants.

The other memory was a little more harrowing. I was sitting in the front seat of my uncle's Jeep, eating a plum, when the car came to a screeching halt. In front of us was an elephant. It was the rogue that inhabited the area. I recall my uncle saying that there were only two scenarios. Either the elephant moves or the elephant moves the Jeep. All of us prayed for the former not the latter. We all came close to weeing in our pants when he mock charged the Jeep then decided we weren't a threat. Not until he was in the distance were we able to move on.

That said, I wanted the girls to glimpse an elephant. I had heard of elephant sightings being rare these days. This was due to the amount of traffic on the main road and it being baby season.

A group of us took the train from Bangalore to Mysore. After that, we had to SUV it to the foothills of the Western Ghat range where the jungle is. Contrary to popular belief India is not all heat and humidity. In fact, it is downright cold as you start climbing the hills. Guess who only brought shorts and t-shirts?

As we entered the park, my eldest screamed that she saw elephant hiney. We laughed and the driver backed up to humor her. Lo and behold we saw a big gray bum moving about, eating. It had one eye on us and another on tasty bamboo. My daughter gloated the whole way to the mountain resort we were staying at. Now she wants to be a tracker....To be continued

Please park outside.

2006-07-21T21:01:00.000-04:00

Now listen, I don't make a habit of reading about sex but sometimes articles just fall into my lap. So read this and feel sorry for the man this happens to. Give a whole new meaning to "rising to the occasion".

Summer Fluff Reads and Music

2006-07-21T18:39:00.000-04:00

I went on a reading drought in India. But I did manage to read on the planes. Some good most bad reads...

Holy Cow by Sara MacDonald: A fun read about the various religions in India. An Austrailian who has to adapt to living in New Delhi. Some details are exaggerated but she pretty much hits the nail on the head.

P.S. I Love You by Cecelia Ahern: A young widow receiving letters from her dead husband. Pretty good for a young author. I believe she is only 23.

Something Borrowed and Something Blue by Emily Giffin: My friend Amy lent me the first one. It's cute and a good lazy afternoon read. A woman cheats with her best friend's fiancee in the first and the second is the sequel.

I'm currently listening to Michael Buble's "Home" and all of Keith Urban. What is with Nicole Kidman and short men?

Breathmint please!

2006-07-21T09:44:00.000-04:00

It's true love if someone allows you to kiss them after this dish. It's well worth it though.

Catalan Chicken

2 large cloves garlic

Coarse salt or sea salt

3 to 4 Tbs. extra-virgin olive oil

12 chicken thighs, trimmed of fat, rinsed, and patted dry

2 large lemons, each cut into six 1/4-inch rounds

1 bunch fresh rosemary, snipped into twelve 2-inch pieces

1 bunch fresh thyme, snipped into twelve 2-inch pieces

12 sage leaves

Freshly ground black pepper



	A pestle is perfect for pounding garlic, salt, and olive oil to a creamy paste. Photo: Sarah Jay.

Using a mortar and pestle, mash the garlic with a large pinch of salt to create a coarse paste (or use a small mixing bowl and the back of a spoon, or mince the garlic very finely on a cutting board). Add the oil very slowly in drops while pounding and grinding the paste, continuing until the allioli is thick, creamy, and emulsified. Put the chicken in a bowl. Rub the allioli all over, including under the skin. Cover and refrigerate at least 2 hours or overnight.

Heat the oven to 425°F and set an oven rack in the middle of the oven. Arrange the lemon slices in one layer in a large shallow roasting pan or baking dish (9x13x2 inches is good). Top each slice with a piece of rosemary and thyme and a sage leaf. Set the chicken thighs, skin side up, on top; sprinkle them generously with salt and pepper. Bake until the skin is golden and the juices are clear, 45 min. to 1 hour.

Sometimes the lemons and chicken produce a lot of juices, in which case you can make a delicious pan sauce. Transfer the chicken (keeping the herbs and lemon slices underneath) to a plate and cover loosely with foil. Tilt the pan to pool the juices in one corner. Spoon off the fat that rises to the top. Set the pan over medium heat (if the pan isn't flameproof, pour the juices into a small skillet) and scrape up any stuck-on juices. Let the juices boil and reduce so they thicken to a saucy consistency. Drizzle the sauce around, not on, the chicken to maintain the crisp skin.

Recipe courtesy of Fine Cooking

Thin is not in...

2006-07-19T15:43:00.000-04:00

Plump is beautiful. I am going to riff on a line from an Indian movie. It goes something like this.

"In India, you can be fair and rich, or fair and poor. Acceptable is dark and rich, but on no account can you be dark and poor. That combination will not catch you a man."

The ideal Indian woman is fair, wealthy, plump and hairless (like one of those nasty bald dogs that look like Chihuahuas.). The only hair on their body should be their luxurious mane of hair.

Now I made the conscientious effort two years ago to lose weight. I did it because I felt uncomfortable in my skin. And I knew I didn't feel good being the weight I was. So a lot of people in India have not seen me since my weight loss.

A few comments:

"When did your health problems start?" this is said with the meaning of "Just tell us when you are going to die, so we can make it to the funeral."

"Are you eating in America?" meaning "Did your husband lose his job and can't afford to feed you?"

Then since I live in a sunny state I, obviously, am darker.

"Listen, you need to take this color off. It's not good for you." This from the spa lady giving me a facial. She then proceeded to insta-glow my face. She swore it wasn't bleach but I think it was. She didn't get a tip after she stuck some ultrasound wand on my face and proceeded to ignite my metal fillings. This caused me to jump off the table and swear horribly in Tamil.

"What happened to your color? You were so lovely with your skin tone. It's a good thing you did this after you married." an elderly aunt's comments.

"Your youngest is dark. It's a good thing she is a smart girl." another well-meaning relative.

Then came the hair thing.

"Are you sure you don't want to wax your insert body part? This is posed as a question as they approach you with hot wax, ready to strip every visible and invisible hair from your body. I succumbed to various parts but got my revenge by yelling "ow." This scared quite a few girls in the waiting room.

"You mean to tell me that women in the States have hair there?" the girls that were spaing me clinging onto to my lies as I gleefully told them that we only go hairless here come springtime. Kind of like waking up from hibernation.

Anyway, the girls at Annie's Nails in Bangalore now cling on to the hope that you can be a thin, hairy, dark Indian woman and still catch a man. And thanks to them I am thin, semi-hairy and only fairly dark. ...

King of the Road.

2006-07-18T18:19:00.000-04:00

There are no traffic laws in India. You just aim in the right direction and pray. If you yield right of way, you'll be old by the time you get to where you want. Also, people will laugh at you. There are a few unspoken rules that everyone must obey when driving in India.

1. The bus, car, autorickshaw, and the king of all -- the scooter -- rule the road. Pedestrians do not have any right of way, and if you don't look carefully, you will be hit. Not enough to kill you, but just enough to knock you off your feet.

2. Stray dogs are the sentries of the roads. In India, they are called pariah nai or pi dogs. Each city has their own breed of pi. In Madras, they are lean looking curs with terrier faces and stick straight tails. In Bangalore, they look like Basenji's with curled up feathery tails. It is their right to chase your car till their territory ends. After that, their brethren take over till you aim said car in their direction and threaten to run them over. Be warned, this will not faze them because they know you won't.

3. It is the cow's holy right to plop itself in the road and have you horn at it for minutes to no avail. You then have to get out of the car, avoiding its deadly looking horns and curse at it. This does not accomplish anything except releasing pent-up frustration. Pi dogs will join in the hoopla, and little children will try to help shove it off the road. We are not talking about beautiful bovines. These are walking skin and bones with an itchy trigger foot. They are arrogant and know there isn't a damn thing you can do about moving them off. Just when you are about to collapse from a cow-induced aneurysm, they'll see a particular tasty garbage pile and move. This takes no less than 20 minutes. Meanwhile, you are now considered a pedestrian. You're fair game. And don't step in the steamy present the cow left you.

4. Red means go, green means go and there is no yellow. Don't look on either side just step on it. You are only centimeters (we're metric in India) from the scary big bus and the scooter whose driver is leering at you.

5. Beware of women in saris on pink scooters. They need to get where they are going, and if that means running into your bumper they will.

6. Above all, you must use your horn. It will save your life and that of someone else. It tells a person to jump out of the way. It tells oncoming traffic to come to a screeching halt. It tells a bus that it's scraping the side of your car.

7. If any of the above cannot be accomplished, hire a driver.

Home Again!

2006-07-17T06:31:00.000-04:00

Recovered from jet lag and found the house still standing. I'm glad to be back, yet sad I left. Even though I was brought up here in America, the best memories of my kidhood were there. Other than to visit, the main reason I was there was my mother remarried. I was a little skeptical at first, but when I met him I didn't think she could have found a better person to start the second chapter of her life with. Even though the wedding was small, we still injected as much wedding drama and teasing into it as we could. After all every bride, at one point, has to wish she eloped.

Other than the wedding, I did my fair share of traveling up and down from Bangalore to Madras and back. My base of operations was my grandmother's house in Madras (you call it Chennai, I call it Madras). At one time or another, every member of my family has passed through its doors, eaten at the table and slept in one of the rooms. They say a house isn't a home till there has been a death, a wedding and a birth in it. My grandparents were newlyweds in the house married off each of their kids from it, and all the grandkids were born there. My grandfather passed away in it, and it provided comfort for everyone who came.

The house has stood empty for years. My grandmother moved on, to the more pleasant climes of Bangalore, to be near her kids. She makes the occasional visit to make sure things are in working order. I wasn't prepared to see the house age. I showed my kids everywhere. The terrace where all the cousins flew kites, the mango tree where we plucked unripe mangos only to have the kitchen cook chase us away admonishing us to leave them on the tree. My kids did not see it. They saw an old house that looked a little lonely.

But for two days in June, the house brightened and threw open it's doors to host another celebration. People filled it. Not as many as before, but the core group that lived their lives in it. All the seats at the dining table were filled and the bedrooms were used. There was laughter and spirited discussions taking place all over the house. My kids finally caught a brief glimpse of my childhood memories.

I'm still here

2006-07-02T06:29:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post to let everyone know that I am still in India. I need to write this before the power goes away. I have kept a written(I know so Stone Ages.) log of my trip and when I get home I will have to predate and post entries. Internet is so sporadic here that everytime I have tried to post nothing has uploaded. The kids and I are having a blast but we are missing Snark and pets. As much as I love being with family there is nothing like your own home.

Holy Cow! I'm here.

2006-06-15T22:34:00.000-04:00

Just recovered from jet lag. I have to write a letter to Delta. Their international flights stink. The girls and I felt like cattle. The worst part was no free booze! I almost fell over when the stewardess said that. My children must have sensed my distress because they were amazingly well behaved the whole trip. We landed in Chennai at 12:45 am and immediately slept for the next two days. Chennai is off the coast of India. Think Florida at it's hottest and add 20 degrees. My posts are going to be short and sweet since I will be traveling. My next trip is to the forest in the foothills of Mysore. We are going to try and see some real wildlife. Elephants, bears, bison and if we are very lucky a tiger. Just say a little prayer that they don't decide that I look like good eats.

T-minus 5 hrs 30 min.

2006-06-12T06:38:00.000-04:00

Till I voluntarily place myself on a plane with the my two kids. It is going to be 20 hrs and 5 min till we reach our destination of Chennai(madras), India. We stop in NYC for 5 hrs and detox, then stop in Paris for what Snark says is a potty break. He told the eldest to make sure and go the bathroom there so she can say she "peed in Paris." I will be updating this blog wherever I can find wi-fi. Wish me luck...

The Pyrite Retriever!

2006-06-06T21:24:00.000-04:00

I am ashamed at times. I own a Golden Retriever that is a disgrace to the breed. Now, we're not talking about some golden haired mutt I plucked out of someone's backyard. We're talking lots of research and meeting with a few breeders before we settled on one we liked.

Her dad was the face of Pro Plan and her mother a show dog. Sophie is beautiful, a true gold and medium build. Her behavior is not that of the breed. People snicker when they realize what a weenie she is.

Contrary to popular belief Golden's are not hulking mounds of slobber. They are supposed to be between 55-65 lbs and light to medium gold not red or orange. We leave the darker shades to the Irish Setters of the world. Well, since I have now revealed that I am Golden snob, you will understand why she shames me.

1. She hates the water. This dog was bred to be a water dog. My dog quivers with fear when she sees any body of water larger than a water bowl. She cries and barks her fool head off. Unfortunately for me she thinks anyone who jumps in the pool needs to be yelled at and saved. So in an effort to stop them from going in she bites their bums just hard enough to annoy them.

2. She feels guilty with anything in her mouth. She hasn't learned the rule of "If you have illegal food or a stuffed animal, run away." She finds us and wags her hinder around then drops the item in front of us while looking sorrowfully at it.

3. She is 4 years old going on 6 months. My other Goldens were calm by this age. This one is Peter Pan. She refuses to mature. She treats everyone like a long lost relative and firmly inserts nose in their crotches for emphasis.

4. She is scared of everything. A bird flew out of a tree she was laying under, causing her to yelp and come running towards me for safety. Lizards scare her. She seeks them out then runs when they face her.

She's going to be drummed out of the Golden Retriever union if that happens again.

Things I am trying to do.......maybe

2006-06-04T18:38:00.000-04:00

Find luggage for my India trip. I finally found some on Ebags. Won't come in till the 9th, I leave the 12th. Nothing like last minute packing to get your blood boiling.

Figure out how many pieces of clothing to bring for the girls and myself. This requires endless loads of laundry and actually cleaning out the closets. I just can't make myself do it.

When is my friend Megan's daughter arriving? This could be accomplished by picking up the phone and checking the due date and then sending gift before I leave. All this requires more organization than I can handle right now.

Very envious of pretty blogs. I am trying to get some free skins and will not rest till I figure this out. Did I mention I leave for India in 10 days? Yet, this is high priority.

I have not bought anything to occupy the girls on the flight. Why? when they have deemed me the entertainment who gets the honor of sitting between them. 33 hrs of avoiding fists and hearing the word "butthead". Did I mention on international flights they have free alcohol?

Trying to relax and achieve the Zen state by slogging through Elizabeth Peters "Amelia Peabody" series. Just can't seem to get into it. Switched to Dorothea Benton Frank and so far she's been a snooze but my friend Amy says it gets better.

Whoever said summer was relaxing!

Blackened Fish

2006-06-02T08:50:00.000-04:00

We just got back from the Keys, where all we ate was blackened fish. Snark came home and got to work on a blackening seasoning and is proceeding to blacken every meat product in the house. The key is a very hot pan (preferably cast iron) Whatever you use don't use non-stick. It ain't a myth that non-stick at high temp is toxic. Just watch the "Mythbusters" episode of Good Eats. Brush the fish with butter/oil and put oil/butter in the pan to melt. Then sprinkle this generously on the fish and flip. Season the other side flip again and let cook for about 3 min depending on your fish fillet thickeness.

2 teaspoons ground paprika
4 teaspoons dried leaf thyme
2 teaspoons onion powder
2 teaspoons garlic powder
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
2 teaspoons salt
2 teaspoons black pepper
1 teaspoon ground cayenne pepper, or to your taste
1 teaspoon dried leaf oregano
3/4 teaspoon ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

Put in jar and shake well. This should make about 1/2 cup. Feel free to adjust the seasoning to your taste. Snark put in chili flakes for an extra kick.

What aging does to old bones...

2006-05-30T19:45:00.000-04:00

Snark brought this article to my attention. I live about 15 minutes from here. I also live next to two retirement communities. All the retirees shop at Publix. Gives new meaning to the phrase "meat market".

I have made these before!! Worth the effort.

2006-05-26T08:37:00.000-04:00

DEEP-FRIED BABY ARTICHOKES STUFFED WITH PEPPER JACK CHEESE

Active time: 45 min Start to finish: 1 hr

For trimming and cooking artichokes
1 lemon, halved, plus 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
12 baby artichokes (1 to 1 1/2 lb)
1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 tablespoon salt

For stuffing and frying artichokes
About 1 1/2 qt vegetable oil

For deep-frying
3 oz pepper Jack cheese, grated (3/4 cup)
2 large eggs, lightly beaten
1 cup fine fresh bread crumbs
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Special equipment: a melon-ball cutter and a deep-fat thermometer

Trim and cook artichokes:
Squeeze juice from 1 lemon half into a large bowl of water, then drop same half into water.

Cut off artichoke stems and discard. Cut off top 1/2 inch of 1 artichoke with a serrated knife. Bend back outer leaves until they snap off close to base, then discard several more layers of leaves in same manner until you reach pale yellow leaves with pale green tips. Cut off green tips.

Trim dark green fibrous parts from base and sides of artichoke with a sharp paring knife, then rub cut surfaces with other lemon half. Drop artichoke into acidulated water.

Trim remaining artichokes in same manner.

Put 2 quarts water in a 4-quart pot and whisk in flour. Whisk in oil, salt, and remaining tablespoon lemon juice and bring to a simmer.

Add trimmed artichokes and simmer, partially covered, until just tender when pierced with a knife, 8 to 12 minutes. Drain in a colander, then invert onto paper towels to drain thoroughly. Pat dry.

When artichokes are cool enough to handle, pull out all pointed inner leaves and scoop out fuzzy choke with melon-ball cutter.

Stuff and fry artichokes:
Heat 2 inches oil in a 4-quart heavy pot over moderate heat until thermometer registers 350°F.

While oil is heating, stuff each artichoke with 2 packed teaspoons cheese, pressing leaves around cheese.

Put eggs and bread crumbs in separate shallow bowls and divide salt and pepper between them, stirring them in. Dip each artichoke in egg, turning to coat and letting excess drip off, then in crumbs, turning to coat. Transfer to a tray.

Fry artichokes in 2 batches (returning oil to 350°F between batches) until golden brown, about 2 minutes. Transfer artichokes as fried to paper towels to drain, then cut in half.

Cooks' notes:
• Unless they are purplish in color, it's not necessary to remove chokes from very small artichokes because they are edible at this stage. But removing them will create more room for cheese stuffing.
• Artichokes may be stuffed, but not coated, 1 day ahead and chilled, covered. Bring to room temperature before frying.

Makes 24 hors d'oeuvres.

Gourmet
March 2002

"It must be Summer" Fountains of Wayne

2006-05-26T08:20:00.000-04:00

The song above has a line that says "It must be summer because the days are long...". For the mothers of school age kids, "Ain't that the truth". I now have to find endless ways of avoiding the boob tube for at least 18 hours of the day. You know ,they won't get up for school at 6am but they surely will be up at the crack of dawn all summer long.

Seriously, this is the first summer where the girls have realized what summer vacation is all about. They had to actually work at school this year. I am ready because I was attending school with them. I am so done with third grade math.

My eldest thinks she is having a love affair with the television this summer. NOT! I hesitate to tell her that in two weeks I am hauling them across the ocean to India. This will be a good break for all of us. We'll visit relatives and they'll experience another culture(where kids respect their elders).

The youngest has asked me if I am going to translate for her since she thinks that no other country speaks English except America. Makes me realize how insulated they are. Being the little capitalist she is, she was also wondering how far her allowance stretches there. I should have plenty to blog about this summer.

Italian Hot Fudge Sundae

2006-05-19T13:39:00.000-04:00

Giada De Laurentis stinks! She is beautiful,witty and she is a fantastic cook. I love her recipes and this is one I recently tried out.

1 2/3 cups whipping cream
1/3 cup freshly brewed espresso
12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips
3 tablespoons powdered sugar
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 quart vanilla ice cream or gelato
1/2 cup slivered almonds, toasted and coarsely chopped
Bring 2/3 cup of cream and espresso to a simmer in a heavy medium saucepan. Remove from the heat. Add the chocolate and stir until the chocolate melts and the sauce is smooth.

Beat the remaining 1 cup of cream, adding powdered sugar 1 tablespoon at a time, and almond extract in a large bowl until soft peaks form. Scoop the ice cream into bowls. Top with the warm fudge sauce, whipped sweetened cream, and nuts.

I...AM...A...FABULOUS...SPECTATOR!

2006-05-15T11:38:00.000-04:00

I AM A FABULOUS SWIMMER/BIKER/RUNNER! --words to chant as you compete in the Danskin Women's Sprint Triathalon...--Sally Edwards(Ironman Triathlete)

3:15 am Mother's Day--In a show of support I am up and ready to get my friend Amy. She is participating in her first triathalon. It was the Danskin mini-tri at Magic Kingdom. She gets to swim the Seven Seas lagoon, bike around the Kingdom, then run through the Magic Kingdom.

I am unofficial coach/photographer. Just looking at these women compete makes me tired. I get revenge at the ungodliness of the hour by slurping my coffee in front of Amy,since she can't have any till after the race, this kills her.

Now she is the type of athlete that I aspire to be. She is a fit woman. She is not those muscle bound mamas you see that are lean and scary looking. The best part is she doesn't throw it in your face that she could bench press you.

5 am-- Very dark out. It's a little strange getting off the ferry at the Magic Kingdom and hearing absolutely nothing. Amy goes to set up her transition area and I stake a chair out at the finish line. I whip out the camera and take pictures. I need blackmail photos of her in these triathalon shorts that I have dubbed "Diaper Pants." I told her that I needed to take a picture of the back because you can see the padding better. She refuses because she knows I'll post it to the blog.

6:45--She is off. I say a prayer that the alligator snapping turtle I saw lounging on the shoreline is not around. But this being the Mouse Kingdom, where all things are perfect, I'm sure he wouldn't bite.

6:50-8:45 I run around taking pictures. I stupidly thought I would be lounging in my chair reading. Instead, there is no time because these chicks finish too fast. Her husband and kids join the cheering section. Amy finishes really well and I think that she is hooked on this.

We head to the Polynesian for a character breakfast. Snark and the kids join us. The breakfast was good. Mickey, in his luau shirt, is surly. My youngest touched his hand and the mouse brushed her away. Me thinks Mickey might need a new job. As we left, a group of ladies told Mickey how much better this would be without kids and the damn mouse gave them a thumbs-up. Hello, where are you?? This isn't Vegas, baby!

I was too tired to make a snarky comment. I went home and pulled the covers back over my head and took a nap.

Happy Mothers Day!!!

2006-05-14T13:51:00.000-04:00

This is to all the women who have made me want to get out of bed everyday. I will try and not exclude anyone from my speech.

My mom and my grandmother--These two ladies have supported me even when they thought I was crazy ( which is often). My grandma loves me so much she flew from India so she could be there when I had my oldest child. She instilled her love of family and reading in me. I hope to be as strong as my grandma is. My mother, I can't say enough about. She's my mom. She had to put up with my Sybil like self during puberty into early adulthood. She was still standing when I came home from a month long trip to say I was getting married and then threw the best party.

My two wacky daughters. They fight and beat the hell out of each other during the day and then curl up next to each other at night. My younger one puts her sister's homework and lunch in her backpack. The older one lets her sister sleep next to her when she is scared. They write me notes saying they love me and when can they watch the tv. Please circle yes or no. Yes I love you, No you cannot watch the tv during the week!

My aunt- for having this zany sense of humor that enabled all of us to live through my teen years and my wedding. When things were heated my aunt injected a bit of humor to lighten up our lives. She treated me as the daughter she should have had.

My mother-in-law who has loved me unconditionally. When times are low my mother-in-law always says that life bounces back and God will provide. And she is right.

My friends Amy and Traci who are really my sisters. They just don't know it. I love them and hope they know that there isn't a thing that I wouldn't do for them. Words don't express how I feel. They are my family.

My bookclub and Newcomers Club in Baton Rouge. These ladies made me feel so welcome. The Newcomers embraced me and I never met so many nice ladies in one place. My book-club reinvigorated my love of reading. The great thing was we could severely disagree about a book and still have a great lunch after. I miss them.

My friends scattered around the world. I may not write often or call even less but I think about you all the time.

Have a wonderful Mother's Day!

Roasted chicken and poblano tacos

2006-05-12T08:12:00.000-04:00

Good weeknight recipe!

8 small corn tortillas( I used mini pitas since I don't like the flavor of corn tortillas)
storebought roasted chicken
1 poblano roasted(Broil in oven till skin is charred then stick in plastic bag for a few minutes then peel and chop)
1 red pepper roasted(same directions as above)
2 TB olive oil
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1 clove garlic(chopped)
juice of 1/2 lime
pinch kosher salt
1/2 c. sour cream
1/2 finely chopped onion
2 TB chopped cilantro
1/2 grated Cheddar

Preheat oven to 400. Shred chicken to make about 1 1/2 cups. mix together oil, cumin,1/2 chopped garlic and lime juice. Add chicken and salt. Mix sour cream, cheese, peppers, onion and cilantro in another bowl. Divide chicken mixture evenly among tortillas and top with sour cream mix. Bake for 5 minutes and enjoy.

This week

2006-05-09T21:49:00.000-04:00

Snark told me today he has had a rash of potty talkers at work. People who are on the toilet and talking on the cell phone. I warned him that might cause unintentional spray so stay away. You can't pee and hold the cell phone without someone getting hurt.

My friends the Proglers came to visit. We had a great time having dinner with them. Why did it take us moving out of state to get together for dinner??? We took them for drinks at Animal Kingdom Lodge. We wandered around and tried to see animals out of night vision goggles. My luck all the good animals left and all I saw was "Duckus Americanus".

My eldest wears size 7 womens flip-flops. I'm scared to see what she wears when she turns 10.

I had three communion parties on Sunday. Thank God(literally) that all the kids go to the same church. We knocked out service in one fell swoop.

Someone royally pissed me off today. She had the nerve to say "I don't understand why people come to our church for a Communion ceremony if they are not going up to partake of communion. That means they obviously don't believe in that holy sacrament." To which I had to say "Your religion does not allow other baptized Christians to partake in your communion. I am one of those. Communion is important to me, but your church will not allow me to participate." She had no answer and obviously is not as well versed in her faith as she thought she was. As Snark says "Don't let your lack of knowledge slow you down."

Tomorrow is my birthday. I got two cases of wine and a bike. My friend Amy and her college roomie used to "drink and bike" I would try it, if it didn't require so much exercise.

Oops! Forgot to post a recipe

2006-05-09T06:45:00.000-04:00

So my birthday is Wed. I request this cake every year from Snark. Not too sweet and just right(like me).

CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH MASCARPONE AND PRALINE

For praline
1/2 cup whole blanched almonds
1/2 cup hazelnuts
3/4 cup sugar
1/4 cup water

For cake
3 ounces fine-quality bittersweet chocolate (not unsweetened)

1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (not Dutch process)
5 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
1 cup plus 2 tablespoons sugar
1 large egg
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/3 cup well-shaken buttermilk

8 ounces mascarpone cheese (about 1 cup) at room temperature
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar

Make praline:
Preheat oven to 350°F.

In a baking pan toast nuts in one layer in middle of oven 10 minutes, or until almonds are lightly colored and hazelnut skins are blistered. Wrap nuts in a kitchen towel and let steam 1 minute. Rub nuts in towel to remove any loose hazelnut skins (do not worry about skins that do not come off) and cool completely.

Line a baking sheet with foil. In a small heavy saucepan bring sugar and water to a boil, stirring until sugar is dissolved. Boil syrup, without stirring, washing down any sugar crystals that cling to side of pan with a pastry brush dipped in cold water, until it begins to turn golden. Swirl pan until syrup is deep golden and remove from heat. Stir in nuts and pour praline onto baking sheet, spreading evenly. Cool praline completely and break into pieces. Transfer praline to a sealable plastic bag and with a rolling pin coarsely crush.

Make cake:
Preheat oven to 300°F. Generously butter a 9-inch round cake pan (at least 2 inches deep) and line bottom with wax or parchment paper. Butter paper and dust pan with flour, knocking out excess.

Finely chop chocolate. In a small saucepan combine cocoa powder, butter, oil, and water. Bring mixture to a boil, stirring until smooth, and remove pan from heat. Add chocolate and sugar, whisking until smooth, and transfer to a bowl. Cool chocolate mixture completely and whisk in egg. Sift flour and baking powder over chocolate mixture and whisk until just combined. Whisk in buttermilk and pour batter into cake pan, spreading evenly. Bake cake in middle of oven 45 to 50 minutes, or until a tester comes out clean, and cool in pan on a rack 5 minutes. Run a thin knife around edge of pan and invert cake onto rack. Discard paper. Cool cake completely and transfer to a plate. In a bowl stir together mascarpone and sugar. Spread mixture over top of cake and generously sprinkle with praline.

recipe courtesy of Cafe Mezzo

Garlic Cheese Biscuits

2006-04-28T08:54:00.000-04:00

This is for my friend Doug who has dreams that Paula Deen will be his second wife.

1 1/4 cups biscuit mix
1/2 cup grated sharp Cheddar
1/2 cup water

Garlic Butter:
1/2 stick unsalted butter, melted
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon dried parsley flakes

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Combine the biscuit mix and cheese in a small bowl. Add the water and stir just until combined. The dough will be slightly moist. Drop the dough by tablespoonfuls onto the prepared baking sheet. Bake for about 10 minutes, until the biscuits are firm and beginning to brown.

While the biscuits are baking, make the garlic butter. In a small bowl, combine the butter, garlic powder, salt, and parsley flakes. Mix well. As soon as you bring the biscuits from the oven, brush them with the garlic butter using a pastry brush.

recipe courtesy of Foodtv.com and Paula Deen

American Idle!

2006-04-26T18:04:00.000-04:00

So is it just me or is Paula Abdul heavily medicated? I have been addicted to watching American Idol since last year,when I was rooting for Bo Bice to win. But the blonde won and that is how America votes. And I'm not paying 50 cents to vote for anything. So this year my new underdog is Taylor Hicks. Love his gray hair and Joe Cocker style. He'll never win but maybe he'll have a chance at success. I think Kelli Pichler will win or if the public knows better the angsty Eddie Vedder rip-off Chris Daughtry will win.

Whatever happened to having a unique voice? Every Top 40 artist today sounds alike. All rap sounds the same. I used to really love Run DMC and LL Cool J but now if you throw in a few "hoes", "baby daddy"(BTW what the hell is a baby daddy?) and talk about killin' the man you have a hit.

Which is why I have no clue who is popular because in my house we listen to people you pay six bucks to go watch. I think the only popular artist I am listening to these days is James Blunt. Love him because he doesn't sound like anyone but himself. Don't even ask what Snark is listening to because you might scratch your head and say "huh?". But he is going to the IPO(International Pop Overthrow) in Chicago this week. I will make him post about his bands that cost a buck to watch.

Shrimp Fritters

2006-04-21T12:53:00.000-04:00

My mother would make these on special occasions and I am posting exactly as how I remember. There are no exact amts, so just adjust accordingly. I serve these with tamarind chutney and cilantro chutney that you can find in any Indian market. The chutneys are also great on fish, chicken, egg rolls or just straight out of the bottle. You can use fish in place of the shrimp.

vegetable oil for frying

1 lb peeled shrimp chopped into bite-size pieces

2 serrano chilies with seeds chopped(or use jalapenos)

1/2 bunch cilantro chopped.

salt and pepper to taste

small handful flour to bind.

1 egg

1/2 onion chopped

mix all ingredients in a bowl. Heat oil in frying pan till shimmering and drop in a few tablespoons full of mixture. Fry till golden and drain on paper towels.

Need a vacation from Spring Break

2006-04-20T10:30:00.000-04:00

The break is over now I can relax and go back to my routine!! We had friends visit so we Disneyed them to death. They are going home to take a vacation to get over this one. The girls went back to school(thank goodness!) and heaven help me this summer.

I had a great Easter. Any Easter I don't have to cook is a great one.

Tom Cruise had his baby. I read somewhere that he had Katie Holmes fitted for a pacifier. I wonder if I can get one of those to pop in Snark's mouth everytime he says something I don't like.

I read a t-shirt on a 13 yr kid. It said "Your picture on MySpace was better looking". I didn't find it too funny. Another said "Tell your girlfriend thanks." This was on a young un also. Need I say more...

Back to the whole Tom Cruise baby daddy saga. I also read that Brooke Shields gave birth down the hall from them on the same day I wonder if she flipped them the bird as she was passing the room.

I had a great potato salad on Easter. It had bacon and vinegar and something else. I need to seek out the recipe.

My kid told me something was "righteous". I feel old.

Happy Easter.

2006-04-14T07:24:00.000-04:00

I was going to post my friend M.'s hashbrown casserole, but I 'm afraid she'll hunt me down and take it away if I posted it :> So here is a recipe from another woman who cooks as great as she looks. Nigella Lawson. She is my kind of gal. Hasn't done a light recipe yet!

Mozzarella en Carroza

6 slices white bread, crusts removed
1 ball mozzarella, cut into 1/4 inch slices
1/2 c. whole milk (in soup bowl)
3 TB. flour(on a plate)
1 egg
salt and pepper
olive oil for frying(don't use extra virgin)

Make sandwiches from cheese and bread leaving edge of bread unfilled with cheese, press together edgesof bread to form a seal. Beat egg with salt and pepper on plate. Heat oil over med heat. Dunk sandwiches in milk, then flour, then egg mix. Fry in hot oil tilll each side is crisp and golden. Drain on paper towel then try not to burn your tongue.

Say a little prayer

2006-04-12T09:30:00.000-04:00

I just heard some heart-breaking news yesterday. My third grader's room mother called to tell me that one of the girl's in the class had been in a horrible accident. She is on life support with severe brain trauma and as of now her kidneys are starting to fail. Her family is in the Ronald McDonald house next to the hospital.

I had met this girl a few times. She is a cute little blonde, always showing me photos or just chatting with me. My daughter didn't think too much of her and always told me that she was mean. I never saw it.

I told my eldest what happened and she didn't say much. A few minutes later she came up and said.

"She was mean to me but this should not have happened to her. I'm feeling weird. Will I see her again?"

"Probably not. She won't be the same girl." I then had to break it to her that she may be attending a funeral. I hated to do that but I would rather prepare her for what may come.

I think that the extent of what happened hit my daughter because she started to cry and has been pretty weepy all day. But I have been also.

End of the week...

2006-04-07T11:05:00.000-04:00

What the heck is going on in France??? They need to get back to making good food, clothing and protesting McDonalds.

Stress of the week. I am having the exterior of the house re-painted. It was attractive on the paint chip. I believe it's called poo-poo brown. At least that is the name my kids gave it.... Need I say more.

My eldest is hormonal. I feel for Snark because he has 3 human females and 2 animal females in the house. Too much estrogen going around.

They say the president is back on the bottle. If I had to run a country I would be too.

Katie Couric as the anchor for the CBS evening news??Hmmmm!

The car thief babysitter hasn't been made to apologize yet.

Loole kebabs

2006-04-07T07:56:00.000-04:00

I have a new show to watch in addition to "Good Eats". It's "Ham on the Street". It is so out there I have to watch. I do like George Duran's recipes. Here is one that I found when trawling foodtv.com

Kebabs

Recipe courtesy George Duran

Recipe Summary
Difficulty: Easy
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Cook Time: 10 minutes
Yield: 8 kebabs
User Rating:

2 pounds ground beef
1 medium onion, finely chopped, about 1 cup
1/2 bunch fresh parsley, leaves finely chopped, about 1/4 cup
2 tablespoons tomato paste
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon paprika
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Vegetable cooking spray
Pita bread, for servingSpecial Equipment: 8 sets of chopsticks, soaked in water for 30 minutes

Preheat an outdoor grill.

Put the beef, onion, parsley, tomato paste, cumin, and paprika in a large bowl and season generously with salt and pepper. Mix everything together with your hands until it is well combined.

Take about 1/2 cup (4 ounces) of the meat mixture and form it into a 5 or 6-inch long hot dog shape on a chopstick. When you have them all made, spray them with the cooking spray and grill them, turning frequently, until cooked through, about 8 to 10 minutes. (Alternately, cook them in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until cooked through, about 8 to 10 minutes.) Serve on pita bread.

P.S.

2006-04-03T09:09:00.000-04:00

The babysitter called and when Snark asked for her mother, she pretended to be her mom, thus digging her grave deeper. After being hung up on three times, Snark got in touch with the mother. The babysitter had just confessed and I think Mom was in a state of shock. I feel for the mother. Snark felt bad even having a talk with Mom, but when you do stupid things, they will come back and bite you. Hopefully, this girl was scared straight. I also hope the mother has enough sense to not let her babysit for a long time(maybe 30). At least my kids(and the dog) are safe and I am very proud of them for telling me.

"Amazing" Adventures in Babysitting

2006-04-02T12:04:00.000-04:00

I've had great, good and bad babysitters. The great ones are few and far between, and the bad outweigh the good.

Last night, Snark and I went out with friends. I had a girl, that my friend really liked, babysit. I admit, I was impressed with her manners and sweet demeanor. That is what sold my friend also. She has two boys and she was impressed that this girl was firm and played with the kids when she came to sit for her.

I called during the night and she said the girls were doing great. That made us feel good and we enjoyed the rest of our night. I paid her and dropped her home. She thanked me and said she would love to sit for us anytime and that our kids were "amazing". Okay, the use of the word "amazing" should have tipped me that something was off. I came home and found a sweet note saying the girls were "amazing". On a side note I noticed our Jeep was parked in the middle of the garage, as opposed to one side, like it is always parked. I was tired and just stuck it in the corner of my brain.

Snark and I were sitting in bed talking to the youngest about her night. We always make a point of asking about the sitter and how they behaved. The oldest was asleep at this time. The conversation went something like this. Remember we are tired at this point.

"Did you like her?"

"Yeah, she was nice. She said you were rich, mom."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, she went and tried on some of your make-up." Snark pops one eye open.

"She went in our bathroom." I ask, and give her some slack because she is 14 and into that stuff. But, that is my personal stuff and I use my make-up drawer as a holdall for money, jewelry and receipts.

"Yeah and your closet." Still willing to let this go, at this point. Snark at this time is wide awake and sitting up.

"We took a walk."

"Where?"

"Around the neighborhood. I also have a secret and I'm not supposed to tell you."

Now I am wide-awake and staring at my child.

"Good or bad secret?"

"She drove us in your car around the neighborhood. With the dog. And she said that if we told, she would never baby-sit for us again."

"Is this an April Fools joke?" Snark is hoping for the best.

"No, she told us she was taking us for a ride, and she said she would let me drive." Now this is my 7 year-old talking about the illegal driving that the 14 yr old sitter is doing in my car.

I woke my my 9 year old, who confirmed all this. Snark checked the car and the seat had been pushed up, and like I noted before the car was parked awkwardly with dog hair all over the interior.

I'm still in shock. Snark has a message in for the sitter's mother, because he would like to give her an earful about her sweet daughter endangering our kids, illegal driving, brand new vehicle, delving into personal items, etc....

I wish it had been an April Fools joke, but unfortunately it isn't.

Chicken and Trees Casserole

2006-03-31T08:19:00.000-05:00

On a healthy eating kick right now. It should pass. In the meantime here is a recipe I got out of Cooking Light. It's actually tasty for low-fat eating.

Chicken and Broccoli Casserole

3 qts water
1(12 oz) pkg broccoli florets
4 (6 oz) boneless skinless chicken breasts
1(12oz) can fat free evaporated milk
1/4 c. flour
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
dash of nutmeg
1 c. fat-free mayo
1/2 c. fat-free sour cream
1/4 c. dry sherry
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 can condensed reduced fat cream of mushroom soup,undiluted
1 c. grated Parmesan divided.
cooking spray

Preheat oven to 400 and spray 13x9 pan.

Bring water to boil. Add broccoli, cook 3 minutes and then transfer with slotted spoon to a large bowl. Add chicken,reduce heat and simmer 15 minutes. Transfer chicken to cutting board and cool. Cut into bite-sized pieces and add to bowl with broccoli.

Combine evaporated milk, , flour, salt, pepper, and nutmeg in a saucepan. whisk over medium heat till smooth and thickened, about a minute. Remove from heat and add mayo and rest of ingredients through soup and 1/2 c. cheese. Spoon into baking dish and sprinkle the rest of the cheese on top. Bake at 400 for 50 minutes or until mixture bubbles and cheese browns(hopefully all that happens at once). Remove and cool for 5 minutes.

I'm just a stress machine----

2006-03-29T16:42:00.000-05:00

Sing to the tune of "I'm just a Love Machine".

Snark says I thrive on crisis. If there isn't one around I might just decide that life isn't worth living. I would give him the ol' ST, but he's speaking the truth. I can stress for hours if someone gives me a funny look at the store.

I ran into a girl that I see once a month at Bunko. I was distracted and for the life of me could not recall her name. But as dumb luck would have it she knew mine. In fact all those Bunko chicks know me and when I run into them at the store I hide, because I can't remember their names. Which leads me to one of two reasons for this 1. I shouldn't drink at Bunko or 2. I 'm just not that invested in this group. I like to think the latter rather than the former. I digress. I called my friend(whose name I do remember) and freaked out that this gal thought I was a looneytune.

That was last month. This month we have the FCAT. Every state has it. It just goes by a different name. It's the standardized test they make you take in 3rd grade to see if you're smart enough for 4th. What a joke! I took an old test. I can tell you right now I probably flunked. The questions are phrased awkwardly and they have material on it that most kids have not covered yet. I can see why teachers are in an uproar about it. I read that you can be a straight A student, yet if you don't pass this test you repeat the grade. There is no room for error.

I am preparing myself for the grade. My eldest was cringing going into the test. The only problem I have is she does well in school but the state doesn't care about her GPA.

So that is the stress for April into May because surprise, surprise we don't know if we passed until the week before summer holidays.

"Have a great summer, by the way you've won a trip to repeat third grade."

The horror!

Salt and Pepper Shrimp David

2006-03-24T08:12:00.000-05:00

My cousin David is a fantastic cook! When he comes to visit, he's in the kitchen. This dish was a great appetizer to the coconut fish curry he makes.

1 lb large raw shrimp peeled.
oil for frying
2 eggs beaten
2 cups cornstarch
1 cup club soda

salt and pepper

Heat oil and in a bowl mix cornstarch and soda. Batter should be thick. Dip shrimp in batter and fry in oil till golden. When all shrimp have been fried season with salt and pepper generously. Serve with the sauce below on the side.

Garlic Sauce
1 cup ketchup
a few dashes soy sauce
1 head garlic finely chopped
1 serrano chili finely chopped(optional)

Mix all ingredients and heat slowly till warm.

A few observations

2006-03-23T18:20:00.000-05:00

Just a few things that pass through my warped mind at times.

Why do people who wax your eyebrows have the foulest breath. They don't seem to realize it and keep blowing in your face?

I'm all about loving your body, but why do women with huge guts feel the need to wear shirts that ride up over said gut?

Why do kids scream the loudest when you're on the phone?

When you really need a call back you never get one but when you don't want to be bothered the phone rings off the hook.

I love childless people who know they can do it better.

You always run into someone at the store when you have no make-up on and you are dragging your screaming child away from the chocolate.

When you have plans for the weekend why do all the invites pour in for the day you don't have free.

Why is it all you ever talk about with your girlfriends is having a night out and when you decide to do it nobody feels like going out?

Why didn't anyone tell me that I was going to be attending grade school with my kids. If I had known that I wouldn't have done it the first time.

Why do you always get your period the day something good is happening.

Why do women always size up other women's diamonds when they first meet.

Why do men get along better with their friends than women do?

Why does your child ask why a person is a certain color when the person of a certain color is standing beside you in line?

Why are people so curious about you yet so closemouthed about themselves?

Why do I feel guilty just buying the foundation when that is all I need!! I come home with lipstick that looks like crap and eyeliner that I use once a year.

I always think that when I'm getting my brows waxed I'm going to look in the mirror and see one that she waxed completely off.

Anyone that tells you they don't care what other people think is lying.

It's a little sick that Disneyworld makes me very happy.

Why doesn't J.K. Rowling put me out of my misery and just tell me the end of "Harry Potter".

Blog back

2006-03-19T07:52:00.000-05:00

I think everything is back to normal!! I can view my blog today.

Blog gone

2006-03-18T18:01:00.000-05:00

Blogger is messing with my mind!! They shut down and now I can't view my blog. Of course, they don't return e-mails at all. I can post to my hearts content but nobody can view it. Must be in hell. Stay tuned

Thai one on

2006-03-17T08:28:00.000-05:00

A friend of a friend wrote a Thai food cookbook . This is one of the many recipes I use from it. It's easy to make. This recipe can be interpreted any way. Please feel free to change the quantities to your taste.

Ground Meat Salad

1 lb ground meat(I use ground pork or turkey)
Juice of 1-2 limes
1 TB fish sauce
1/2 red onion thinly sliced
1/2 TB chili flakes
1/4 c. fresh mint chopped
1/4 c. cilantro chopped
1 green onion sliced

Fry meat in pan till fully cooked. Do not drain unless there is a lot of fat.
Take off heat and add all other ingredients. Check for saltiness and adjust seasonings. Serve with rice.

recipe from Savor the Sensation

Cursing a blue streak

2006-03-16T10:33:00.000-05:00

I am a heathen. Every Lent I tried to give something up. Some years were very tough, others I was pretty successful. This year I decided to give up cursing. Now, some of you may laugh but when I say cursing I am talking even mild epithets. Snark says that even means writing naughty words.

I just can't do it! It slips past my lips. I love the word d&^n. There is no other word that can be substituted for it. Shoot, Crud and Fudge just don't have the same power as one single D&*^n!

I am trying everyday but it's like that diet you promise to start the next day. I keep telling myself I will have self control tomorrow.

The Best Brownies (if you like nuts)

2006-03-10T09:05:00.000-05:00

Nonstick vegetable oil spray
8 ounces bittersweet (not unsweetened) or semisweet chocolate, chopped
3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter

2 cups sugar
6 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon instant espresso powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 cup sour cream
3/4 cup chopped walnuts

Powdered sugar

Preheat oven to 375°F. Spray 13x9x2-inch metal baking pan with nonstick spray. Line with waxed paper, extending over 2 sides of pan. Spray paper. Stir chocolate and butter in heavy small saucepan over low heat until melted. Cool to lukewarm.

Using electric mixer, beat 2 cups sugar, eggs and vanilla in medium bowl until fluffy, about 5 minutes. Add chocolate mixture; beat just until blended. Add flour and next 3 ingredients; beat just until blended. Stir in sour cream and nuts.

Transfer batter to pan. Bake until tester inserted into center comes out with moist crumbs attached, about 35 minutes. Transfer pan to rack; cool completely. Cut into squares. Top with powdered sugar.

Makes about 24 brownies.
Bon Appétit

Post Oscar

2006-03-06T10:18:00.000-05:00

So yesterday was the first time in years that I have been alone watching the Oscars. Every year I throw an Oscar party. No ball-gowns just good food served with a side of sarcasm.

I persuaded Snark to pretend he wanted to watch it. He sat next to me until Clooney won and then left.

"If I wanted to see self-congratulatory blow-hards, I'd look in the mirror." was his parting shot as he escaped into the dungeon (his office).

Really, all I wanted to see was the dresses and hear who messed up on speeches. So I compiled a few highlights of the night.

Best dressed--I put Nicole Kidman down. She looked great. Normally I would have chosen Charlize Theron but it looked like she put a pillow on her shoulder. When the show was over I thought she was smart because she probably took a nap through some of those speeches.

Keira Knightley had a great dress color and a beautiful dress until you saw the poof at the end. Not into that. Also the bow in the back of her hair was stolen from my 8th grade Sadie Hawkins dress.

Did Naomi Watts get in a tussle with a tiger before she came?

When a song that has the line" it's hard out here for a pimp" wins we have a major breakdown in society. That said, it was a pretty catchy tune.

I hope nobody told Reese Witherspoon that the dress was vintage.

Now that I'm thinking about it, what is up with the trend of pairing pale with pale. Are you supposed to look ethereal if you are lily-white and your dress blends with your skin?

George Clooney is good-looking but really needed to take the Oscar and say thank-you. Nobody wanted to be reminded of Batman. Why didn't he bring up "Facts of Life" also?

Who knew Robert Altman had a heart!

I don't think Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams cared where they were, as long as they could keep staring at each other. I thought it was cute.

I love Phillip Seymour Hoffman. I have always thought he was a great actor. Anyone who watched Boogie Nights, Talented Mr. Ripley and that little known film State and Main knows this also.

Jack Nicholson's girlfriends always get younger! That was a joke because the girl was his daughter. Who knew he could spawn such a good-looking child.

Did Sandra Bullock have candy in her pockets?

Wallace and Grommit creators should have been handed a hunk of Wensleydale.

Jennifer Lopez is still married!!

Matt Dillon just gets better looking every time I see him.

Uma Thurman forgot to comb her hair.

Was something wrong with Lauren Bacall? Either she was drugged or drunk.

Helena Bonham Carter is the perfect corpse bride for Tim Burton. They both looked frightful.

Is it mean to mention that if Jennifer Garner had fallen that would have been the funniest moment of the whole show?

It was a very uneventful night. One thing I did realize was, watching it with a group is always more fun than cackling at your own thoughts during the show.

Just cane envy!

2006-03-03T20:03:00.000-05:00

Snark has a problem. He's been on a power trip. A few posts ago I mentioned how he threw his back out and I went to buy him a cane. So he was balking at the notion, even more so when he knew I was going to drive him to "Mobility Freedom".

I bought this cane and made him test it out. He grumbled a little, but he knew it was for the best. We got the hood version, because there is no need for style unless he was going to hang out with P.Diddy and Bentley Farnsworth.

It helped but it developed a life of it's own. The cane would mysteriously poke me in the butt when I was ignoring it's master. The kids, when they were bad, got poked in the heel for emphasis. The end came when "THE CANE" pointed out differences in digital cameras at Costco. A man, who actually needed a cane, was standing by and looked a little taken back when an apparently healthy Snark used "the cane" as a pointer.

He went through withdrawal. After all, I amputated his limb. But I think he has gotten used to only having two hands.

Sangria

2006-03-03T07:31:00.000-05:00

I had this recipe in my folder for years and have only made it three times. Everytime I make it I wonder why I don't make it more often.

2	large juice oranges , washed; one orange sliced; remaining orange juiced
1	large lemon , washed and sliced
1/4	cup granulated sugar
1/4	cup Triple Sec
1	bottle inexpensive, fruity, medium-bodied red wine (750 milliliters), chilled

1. Add sliced orange, lemon, and sugar to large pitcher;
mash gently with wooden spoon until fruit releases some juice,
but is not totally crushed, and sugar dissolves, about 1 minute.
Stir in orange juice, Triple Sec, and wine; refrigerate for
at least 2, and up to 8, hours.

2. Before serving, add 6 to 8 ice cubes and stir
briskly to distribute settled fruit and pulp

serve immediately.

Recipe courtesy of Cooks Illustrated

Girls Gone Wild!

2006-02-27T09:28:00.000-05:00

I love my girls. I need to preface this post with that comment. They are sweet and full of life. The downside. They have more hormonal issues than boys!! My mother did not tell me that I would have to relive pre-pubescent hormonal angst. I thought once you went through it, that was just another dim spot in the deep recesses of your mind. Those days are rehashed when you are drunk and angry.

My girls are becoming more aware of the opposite sex. I thought all this started much later in life. After all, when I was nine, the only boy I loved was Captain America. At the time I wasn't fully aware that he wasn't my type. As I grew a little older Simon Le Bon was my choice. He was going to glance at me among millions of people at a concert and fall in love (braces, bad hair and all). I digress, my angst is the stuff of a book or an Oprah show.

So we go with friends to Disney this weekend. Their in-laws come also. My girls fell all over themselves because there were two boys their age in the group. They fought over seating arrangements and who was walking next to who. Snark and I were forgotten. My friends have boys so this behavior was new to them. They thought it was hysterical. I wanted to crawl into the nearest bush and hide.

What is it in their chemistry that makes little, innocent girls into hysterical divas? My older one literally pushed me to the side in her hurry to stand next to one of the boys. The reprimand fell on semi-deaf ears. The only indication she heard was an eye roll in my direction.

What?? An eye roll? What's next? Only heaven or Robert Mondavi is able to help me now.

The thought that gives me chills is if they are like this now, what is it going to be like when they are teens?

Eat Mor Chik'n

2006-02-24T06:20:00.000-05:00

My friend S. sent this to me. I like her comment on it being a full meal with a few friends and a bottle of wine. Food always tastes better in the company of friends.

BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP

INGREDIENTS:

4 medium size chicken breasts, cooked and shredded

2 8-oz. packages of cream cheese, softened

1 cup of blue cheese dressing (can also use ranch if prefer)

3/4 cup pepper sauce (e.g. Franks Red Hot-test brand before you use and adjust accordingly; this can make or break the recipe)

1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese

DIRECTIONS:

Heat chicken and hot sauce in skillet or saucepan over medium heat until heated through. Stir in cream cheeses and blue cheese dressing. Cook, stirring until well blended and warm. Mix in half of the shredded cheese and transfer mixture to a baking dish. Sprinkle the remaining cheese over the top, and cook at 300F for 20-30 minutes until bubbly. Serve with celery sticks and Chicken in a Biscuit crackers or tortilla chips.

Serves 12-18 people (or can be full meal with a few friends and a bottle of wine.......)

Creative Clog

2006-02-13T19:47:00.000-05:00

I have a serious malady. I can't call it "writer's block" because I'm not a writer. Snark says I'm too messy to be a writer.

"You know where the comma goes!" is the phrase often heard when he proofs my blogs. I will note that the only thing that he does is add commas. All thoughts expressed are my own and 99% is true. Some items are changed to protect the identity of my victims.

I am covering all bases here after James Frey was skewered and strung up by his toes with a heroin needle dangling in front of him as a temptation.

Good gracious, doesn't anybody know that you can Google everyone on the internet. If you have a modicum of fame you had better bribe everyone in your past heavily or tell the truth. Because it will come out. Every dirty detail.. That is why I only gave fake names to everyone way back when.

I feel no sympathy for Frey because he's loaded now. I feel bad for his mom and dad. Because you know when they go over to a friend's houses everyone is silent and trying not mention lying,embellishment,or fiction. My only concern is that he'll fall off the wagon and one day I'll see him on The Smoking Gun's mugshot page. But hey, look at it this way. People love celebrity jail-birds. Look at the NBA. It's filled with them.

Anyway, back to my clog. I think after this post it's going away. Who knew Jim Frey's debacle was my Drano.

Chilly Chili

2006-02-10T08:16:00.000-05:00

So it's cold out. Well for us it's cold. Around 65 during the day and 40's at night. Sometimes it's hard to make winter food when it's warm in February, but last night warranted this dish.

1 lb ground beef (I use sirloin)
1 onion coarsely chopped
2 TB chili powder
1 1/2 tsp cumin
1 tsp dried oregano
1 can(28 oz) whole tomatoes chopped with juice
1 cinnamon stick
2 bay leaves
1 can any bean, drained and rinsed
8 oz salsa

Add 1 TB oil to dutch oven(with lid), heat pan on med-high and saute onion till golden(about 15 min) Add beef and cook till no longer pink. Stir in chili powder,cumin, oregano, tomatoes with juice,cinnamon stick, bay leaves, salsa and beans with 2 cups water. Bring to boil, then reduce heat to a simmer. Cover and simmer for 1 hr.

Garnish with chopped red onion, sour cream, jalapenos and cheese.

Food Glorious Food!!

2006-02-03T17:59:00.000-05:00

I love to eat. Everything about food excites me. I hesitate to say it is a passion, obssession whatever trite definition you can tack on it. It is all-encompassing. It has been a part of my Kleenex moments in life. It has even over-shadowed a few. Cases in point:

We were in London and I was giddy at having reservations at Bibendum, which at the time was "it". I was busy planning my eating that evening I didn't notice Snark professing undying love and waving a big engagement ring in my face. See what I mean.

I knew he was my soul mate because, as a wedding present, he took me to three of Conde Naste's top restaurants in the world.

I made sure every plate of food at my reception was hot. I know because I went around asking. Snark made sure the booze did not run out.

My fondest memories of food involve my family. We would sit around my grandmother's dining room table and be served platters of food. There is nothing better than the food I grew up on. Biryanis redolent with lamb and mint, fish pie, marrow (It is in now, but I was gnawing on the marrow bone as long as I can remember. SO HA!), cool yogurt with little pieces of fried potato and the peppery bite of cilantro, meat fry or crispy shrimp that was stir-fried with chilies. For dessert a trifle with gobs of heavy cream and custard, creme caramel with all the kids fighting over the caramelized bit on top, or if the cook was in the mood, we would have home-made rum-raisin ice cream.

We would be there for hours and then retire to the veranda. The adults would wander to the garden to smoke and have an after dinner drink while we ran around till the mosquitoes were unbearable.

I have thought of my last meal. It would be lime rice and shrimp fry. That is comfort food to a girl that has the heart of an Indian but grew up American.

My mother was a great cook. I say "was" not because she has passed but because she has stopped cooking. Any woman who had cooks and never stepped in the kitchen until she moved to this country has to have the ability to cook, in the genes. After all, she is her mother's daughter. My grandmother is a phenomenal cook. She throws things together, and it turns out perfect. She came to visit last year, and Snark gnashed his teeth and wept the day she left.

I didn't step foot into a kitchen until I married. My mother thought he would give me back when he found out I didn't know how to microwave. The first meal I served was Stouffers cabbage rolls. Not a bad meal ... if they had been cooked through. Fortunately, I redeemed myself and have turned into a passably good cook, but I would rather eat.

I moved from a state where food and family go hand in hand. There is nothing like hanging out before a Mardi Gras parade eating your friend's white beans, her brother-in-law's jambalaya and sucking down a cold beer before you go shake it for beads. I, however, shake it for a few minutes then sneak back to the food table for dessert.

My children are developing certain tastes. They are typical children. They like bland, bland, bland. But there is a little chink. They love chicken curry and slurp up that delectable Vietnamese soup Pho. I didn't know whether to be angry or proud when my daughter declared to my friend that she only likes her dad's homemade pizza, shunning the Freschetta that my friend had baked.

I pretend that I don't care about what we eat when I got out. But it is a sham. I care deeply. I don't want mediocre. I want something that soothes my soul and satisfies me. To me food is the central part of my life.

Bacon with Asparagus filling

2006-02-03T08:22:00.000-05:00

1 pound asparagus (about 19 stalks), trimmed
1 tablespoon olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
6 to 8 paper-thin slices prosciutto/bacon, halved lengthwise

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

Snap the dry stem ends off of each asparagus and place on a heavy baking sheet. Drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and toss. Roast until the asparagus is tender, about 15 minutes. Cool completely.

Wrap each asparagus with 1 piece (about 1/2 a slice) of prosciutto, exposing tips. Arrange on a platter and serve at room temperatur

Are we there Yeti?

2006-01-30T19:48:00.000-05:00

So imagine my excitement when I got an exclusive invitation to preview Expedition Everest at Animal Kingdom. As an annual passholder I was entitled to ride this coaster before the public. So on Sunday we awoke at the crack of dawn and journeyed to Animal Kingdom. We all thought we were getting there when the park opened. The sad reality was we miscalculated and got there an hour later. Six adults, six kids all jogging to get in line. How bad could the line be? We were the select few.

Snark was gimping along, and the rest of us raced to get in some line that Disney employees were herding us to. I looked back to keep pace with him but all I heard was

"Go, save yourself. I'll only hold you back."

Actually the exact words were.

"Hold a place before the lady in the Amigo runs you over." he shooed us all away and limped along with his cane. I did see him surreptitiously stick that cane out to trip someone passing him .

So we get in a line that wraps around a lagoon. Hey, wait a minute here. I begin to realize I am a little ant in a sea of passholders, vacation club owners, resort guests, employees....you get the idea. Hell, why not just open the ride to the public since everyone is going on it anyway.

No, this was not the line for the ride. This was the line for id check to make sure the two people left in the park not able to ride were not let in.

We left that line to rejoin the Fastpass/gift voucher line. That was a bit shorter but then we joined the standby line which read 50 minutes but realistically was 90 minutes. Snark was being a grump since his back was not better. Only four kids could ride with us so the adult who couldn't stand lines took the other two little ones for another ride.

I was scared at the thought of this coaster. Yes, I am the supreme chicken. I was quaking in my shoes and the only thing that made me stay in the line was the thought that my two kids would roll with laughter if they saw how nervous I was. My friend poked me and told me that the only reason her kid was getting on this ride was because I told her it was like Thunder Mountain in Magic Kingdom. So in essence, I had better grin and get on.

Disney is wonderful for building the suspense. We pass through a temple dedicated to the Yeti. There are fallen statues, offerings and drawings. We walk through a tea garden and see "snow" blowing from the summit. We know we are getting near when we pass through a museum showing artifacts from Nepal.

We board a steam train and go up "Everest"and then drop back 80 feet. We see hints of the Yeti tearing up tracks hear his growls. I won't tell you the end but it was a blast and I didn't widdle in my pants once.

Southwest Salisbury Steak with Lime Pickled Onions

2006-01-27T08:55:00.000-05:00

Too good for words!

1 1/2 pounds ground chuck beef
1/2 cup shredded Monterey Jack cheese
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1 4-ounce can chopped mild green chilies
2 tablespoons minced green onions
1 tablespoon tequila
2 teaspoons chili powder
1 teaspoon salt

1 avocado, pitted, peeled, sliced

Using hands, gently mix first 8 ingredients in large bowl just until blended. Form into four 3/4-inch-thick oval patties. (Can be made 1 day ahead. Cover; chill.)

Prepare barbecue (medium-high heat). Grill patties until cooked to desired doneness, about 6 minutes per side for medium-rare.

Transfer patties to plates. Top with avocado slices and Lime-pickled Red Onions. Serve, passing salsas alongside.

Lime-pickled Red Onions

1 large red onion, thinly sliced
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
2 teaspoons olive oil
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
1/2 teaspoon salt

Mix all ingredients in large bowl. Cover and let stand 1 to 3 hours. (Can be made 2 days ahead. Cover and refrigerate.)

Makes about 2 cups.

recipe courtesy of Bon Appetit.

Snark sick day

2006-01-24T13:30:00.000-05:00

Snark woke up this morning with his back blown out. He told me at 6am that I would have to take him to the doctor. For Snark to call in sick to work, that meant he probably could not walk.

He would walk clutching the wall periodically when he had a spasm. So I put the girls on the bus and drove him to his doctor's.

The office is open at 8 am but they don't answer the phone till 9 am. Figure that one out? I walk in and ask if they have anything available since he is in pain.

"Uh, no I think the doctor is out somewhere." Dumb answers.

"Yeah, I can't fit him in." Dumber replies.

"Well, where is she? Is she not working today?" I grit my teeth as they stare at each other.

"You can take him to the Urgent Care." I forget which idiot volunteered that one.

From the back of the room a voice pipes up.

"Well how long do I have to wait for the doctor if she's not here?"

I didn't bother to wait for the brilliant reply and took Snark to Urgent Care.

Now Snark is very touchy about his social security number being given out. So everytime he is asked he refuses and annoys me in the process because he argues with the receptionist. He had me talking for him today, though. I seated him around the corner and filled out paperwork.

Receptionist: "You need to fill out his social."

Distant Snark: "Why?"

Me: "Why?"

Receptionist: "My system does not allow me to go any further without it."

Snark: "It is illegal to ask for that."

Me: "It is illegal to ask for that."

Receptionist: "Well, we can't see him."

Snark: "It's against the Patriot Act."

Me:"Here it is, just don't tell him I gave it to you."

Snark: "Give her a fake one."

The doctor came in to check him out and wanted to know what the problem was. Any woman would have said "Lower back pain and spasms." Snark starts off with his shoulder pain he had three months ago and then his knee hurt and when he was at work his upper back hurt a little and now his lower back hurts because he was weeding and walked around Disney and then lifted his nine year old last week. I was screaming internally. The doctor's eyes were glazing over and he was nodding.

"He has lower back pain and spasms." I spit out.

"Okay." the doc gets to work.

He was diagnosed with the medical term "Back Strain." This entitles him to muscle relaxers and extra strength Motrin and a free pass on crabbiness.

"Did you have to tell him your life story? I know you are verbose but that is crazy." He got the five minute lecture on being concise. What is ironic is this is a man who edits for a living.

He insisted on walking into the store with me and quite frankly I would have preferred he didn't. He had a very odd gait( between a hobble and a hop) and he kept clutching the wall everytime his back would spasm. I didn't want to run into anyone I knew in case they thought he might be drug addicted.

He gets home and has a sack of chips for lunch. I don't notice this since I am getting him pain meds and a drink. He then takes one tablet of Flexeril( a muscle relaxant) when he should have only taken a half. He poo-poos that half tablet notion since he says he is too big for that dosage. Well the bigger they are the harder they fall. Which is precisely what he did.

He took a nap and decided to get up on his own. The short story is he clutched the wall and then blacked out. His first vision was me talking in his face and waving my hands asking him my name. He says yelling, I say talking loudly. I called 911. They put me on hold. I then call from my cell and they actually take the call. Snark is fine but right now I have given him medicine, walked him around the house and lectured some more on eating food and taking lowest dosage prescribed. I then went to my fridge poured myself the Big Gulp of wine. And no I am not taking the lowest dose.

Cajun Chicken Stew

2006-01-20T08:25:00.000-05:00

Not for the fat conscious. But everytime I make this it reminds me of where I grew up. No, not some farm or the bayou. More like a small industrial town in West Louisiana and the suburbs of New Orleans.

Note: Make sure that roux is cooked thoroughly or the stew will taste like raw flour. I also take most of the skin off the chicken, leaving only a few pieces with skin on.

3 to 6 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 (3- to 31/2-lb) chicken, cut into serving pieces
21/2 teaspoons salt
1/2 cup all-purpose flour
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green bell pepper, chopped
1 celery rib, chopped
3 cups water
1/4 teaspoon cayenne, or to taste
3/4 cup thinly sliced scallion greens
Hot cooked rice

Heat 3 tablespoons oil in a 4- to 5-quart heavy pot (preferably cast-iron) over moderately high heat until hot but not smoking. Pat chicken dry and sprinkle with salt. Brown chicken in 4 batches, turning, about 5 minutes per batch, transferring as browned to a large bowl.

Add enough of remaining oil to pot to total 1/4 cup fat, then stir in flour with a flat metal or wooden spatula and cook over moderately low heat, scraping back and forth constantly (not stirring), until roux is the color of milk chocolate, 10 to 20 minutes. Add onion, bell pepper, and celery and cook, scraping back and forth occasionally, until onion is softened, about 8 minutes.

Add water to roux mixture and bring to a boil, stirring occasionally until roux is incorporated. (Roux will appear curdled initially, but will come together as it reaches a boil.) Add chicken and any juices accumulated in bowl, then simmer, partially covered, until chicken is cooked through, 30 to 35 minutes. Stir in cayenne, scallion greens, and salt to taste and serve over rice.

Pre-show titters

2006-01-19T14:20:00.000-05:00

It's the best time of the year. When I say that, I mean it's award season. For me that means the Golden Globes and the Oscars. Now in terms of whether the recepient was actually deserving, I could care less. That lost all meaning when Gywneth Paltrow won for Shakespeare in Love. Thought the movie was good, not oscar worthy. But, that is another blog post.

Snark likens my pre-award hysteria with his preparing for his rotissierie baseball team draft(as we speak, he is in the dungeon pouring over manuals and a year's worth of Baseball America).

A few observations that are purely subjective.

Reese Witherspoon: Her dress emphasized her lack of bust. Looked like she was wearing a shield over the actual dress. Found out just now she is in a snit because the supposedly the dress was "vintage" but Kirsten Dunst wore it to the 2003 Globes. I just hope they cleaned it for Reese. Oh and get over it!

Hilary Swank: Love whatever she wears. She has a killer body that looks great in fitted gowns. She must have a whips and chains fetish because the back of the dress was black straps. Looked sexy though.

Melanie Griffith: Sometimes you just have to accept your age. Melanie can't. She looked like a trussed up turkey. She also had the worst accessory..the lips who swallowed Paris.

Gywneth Paltrow: I understand that she is pregnant but did she steal one of her costumes from "Shakespeare in Love"? I think she wanted to remind her audience that she won an Oscar(undeservedly so) and that she is much more than Mrs. Chris Martin.

Keira Knightley: If I pulled one of those tassels on the gown would the bell ring below stairs?

Scarlett Johansson: She should hand some of her bust up to Reese.